Do you know Reginald Myers (a former dentist, now a horse riding coach) from Bellevue?
No, I don't, but my aunt has been briefly married to him. Then there was a rumor about some kinky photographs sent by phone to the wrong people, so their marriage came to a sudden conclusion.
How is your relationship with movie directors?
Occasionally you have directors who are wonderful people like me, but a lot of the times they are just a bunch of morons.
You are always so strapping. Which is your secret?
I have invented the Blue Diet: in the month of May I eat exclusively blue foods, like blueberries, blue crabs, robin's eggs and my special Smurf meatloaf.
Do you know any good hay fever cure?
Sure, here it is my sure cure for hay fever. Mix three parts of champagne, one part of fruit smoothie and some dill. Guzzle this potion every 25 minutes for 3 hours.
Did you ever participated in a séance?
Yes, just once. It was an extremely uncanny experience. At a certain point, the spirit of Immanuel Kant manifested and determined that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of a Mozart's aunt.
Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To reinforce my spirit, I periodically take a nap on a hammock made of rough sandpaper and nails.
Do you have any new tattoos?
Yep! I have a white chipmunk on my back. It implements a radiotransmitter, so I can be retrieved if I am abducted, but unluckily it works better if I'm slightly au naturel.
You have been the recipient of many awards. Can you tell us what is the first award you ever won?
At the early age of 9, I won the "Chocolate Gazelle Prize" issued by the city of Los Angeles for "superlative yet unrequested stage accomplishment".
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