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An interview with Robert Knepper
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Robert Knepper
Robert Knepper born July 8th, 1959 (Cancer)
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Robert Knepper likes to imagine that in an alternative dimension he is a doughnut (pixabay photo)

I'm here today with a special guest, Robert Knepper, who just made his way through his last movie. Hi, Robert, and welcome to Mythical Celebrities.
It's a pleasure being here, mainly because I can't remember if you owe me money.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to naphthalene, negativity and bobcat tears (don't ask!).

Are you superstitious?
Absolutely! I say Macbeth 4 times before a relevant occasion.

Your zodiac sign is Cancer. May I read you your horoscope?
As you want, but I'm a bit partial regarding zodiacal nonsense.

You will meet an intoxicated stranger from Chicago, a retired general practitioner named Robert with both ears on the same side of the head. He will propose you to open an underground jackal breeding farm in Alaska. Don't be fooled!
Crickety! You are spot on!

Robert, you are well known for your particular demands when staying in hotels. Could you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you may ask?
Everybody should learn that Robert needs what Robert needs, and he always gets it. Whether it's spicy cotton-candy or silver-plated potpourri.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
It's a no-brainer! Bart Simpson.

You know that that's not a real person, don't you?
It's not!? I've wasted the best years of my life!

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Robert Knepper's secret telephone number is listed here :
7668242720 6408226203 2830096323 9251475264 376166507 3119973655 8080742109 220334036 348066538 4062271906 588396676 9036237829 963249399 6887402728 7313235340 258310517 9565815365 444465532 7849792734 4225991929
I have a confession to make. My boss had patiently planned my short meeting with Robert Knepper many months beforehand. Unluckily, I realized I had better things to do, like walking my pet horse or collecting light bulbs. So, this web page is essentially based on what Robert Knepper would have probably said if I have met him, as suggested by a telephonic poll involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.