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A talk with Robert Patrick
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Robert Patrick
Robert Patrick born November 5th, 1958 (Scorpio)
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Robert Patrick has been unhappy with the true location and facilities of the mega-deluxe resort he carelessly picked out from the flyer of the "No Way Travels" tour operator (pixabay photo)

Do you know Carol Carter (a former jockey, now a diver) from West Covina?
Not personally, but my cousin has been briefly engaged to her. Then there was a rumor about the perplexing suicide of a former lover, so their engagement came to a hasty end.

What’s in your pocket right now?
I got a heap of money in my pockets. You can look at them in awe, you can ever smell them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of notes...

Do you like to cook?
To be frank, I believe that preparing food is quite a waste of time, since there are restaurants and supporters willing to provide my daily intake of fats and vitamines. The few times I oblige to cook for my disciples, I like to improvise salads. My masterpiece is a mix of bacon and seitan, which I assume can accomodate both vegans and normal people.

Would you like to share the recipe with us?
Yep! You take the bacon and the seitan and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some salted brioches.

Sandwiches?
It does not matter, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. So you make those sandwiches, then you discard the bread and mix bacon and seitan with some balsamic vinegar and voilà, there it is!

Does your agent use a pseudonym when he makes reservation for, say, a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to ditch stalkers and paparazzi
Sure! We'll go to extremes to dodge those critters. We often use the moniker "Robert Pitrick".

Which is the most blush-making DVD (or VHS) you personally bought?
Snap! Apart from "Glitter", probabably it is "Larger than Life" or "Spawn".

Do you have any birthmark?
Actually, I do. I have a little pelican shaped birthmark on my left knee. Probably my father did involuntarily eat a pelican while my mother was pregnant.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Robert Patrick's secret telephone number :
9602728311 9899165528 2151009418 8940510703 7031622385 5301662020 5503005117 481543649 820935456 769875929 2693533370 3398226809 5153886508 509825050 3670779186 6159828065 4813679569 8178985708 9955830547 5744304110
My brief meeting with Robert Patrick has been patiently arranged weeks beforehand. The resulting interview was magnificent, like "The Hunger Games" rewritten by Robin Hood. Hence, it was very untoward, to put it mildly, that my dog (on purpose!) shredded my only copy! After I regained mental sanity, I made an effort to recall those magnificent words. I want to be straight, I'm not so confident this web page contains an entirely genuine chronicle of what transpired during our exchange, and thus I'm beginning to ask myself if it actually was real...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Samuel L. Jackson Matt Smith Hayley Atwell Sonequa Martin-Green Paula Patton Susan Sarandon Shia LaBeouf Doris Day Diane Lane Morgan Freeman Toni Braxton Miranda Cosgrove Mae Whitman Jewel Cheryl Cole Matt Smith Daddy Yankee Charlie Day Dustin Hoffman
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.