An interview with Robert Pattinson
Robert Pattinson
Robert Pattinson born May 13th, 1986 (Taurus)
A fan, an estranged relative or a random passerby? Well, nobody seems to know, but a redacted face intensifies drama! (pixabay photo)

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
I really can't use commercial products. My personal toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Blephacypra vulgaris, an almost extinct tree native of Costa Rica.

Your zodiac sign is Taurus. Are you a typical Taurus?
Guess so! I'm a little surly, somehow inert, yielding and accommodating. My relatives say that I'm also a bit paradoxical but that I think it is common in artist.

What motivates you to act?
I hear a voice that motivates me. Her name is Jessica. Jessica says you are an idiot.

If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Without doubt Mary Poppins.

Which is the worst DVD in your possession?
Nonsense! Apart from "From Justin to Kelly", which was a gift, probabably it is "Town & Country" or "Twisted".

What do you eat between meals?
Chicken nuggets with sour cream, a breakfast cereal, two frozen peas, and a few drops of ground coffee.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Sure! Here it is

The wombat of agony
The eerie wombat of agony
withers on the murky mountains of insanity
when I look in the eye this life emptiness.
If only it had been the pork of agony
we could have bacon at least.

I heard that you will soon participate to a charity football match. Would you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And how long have you been feeling a need to inform people about calculi?
WHAT? Calculi!? Is that what's it all been about? I have to call my agent.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Robert Pattinson's secret telephone number :
5745050222 9850681954 7889259442 8065068353 3785478495 395582473 709946468 511864153 2744472450 492122261 8053215387 7389776864 958478024 9185577674 8938417922 7895742090 3018138205 6064038423 729317841 516690590
Clearly, actors are very busy people. It's difficult for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Robert Pattinson completely alone and to obtain the interview above without disturbing him. Hence, this web page is an a psychic transcription we obtained thanks to a telepath.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.