An interview with Ron Howard
Ron Howard
Ron Howard born March 1st, 1954 (Pisces)
Ron Howard in an ingenious camouflage meant to leave behind aggravating fans (pixabay photo)

Are you allergic to anything?
I'm allergic to gnus, propylene and bullshit.

Your zodiac sign is Pisces. May I read you your horoscope?
Certainly! My friends say I'm a sucker for zodiacal craziness.

You will ram into a vagrant stranger from Memphis, a former agricultural scientist named Steven with an empty bottle of sparkling wine in his right pocket. He will propose you to open a hare breeding farm in New Mexico. Don't believe him!
The hell with it! Impressive, what do you have -- a time machine?

Do you like to cook?
Goodness no! But I like to create salads. My masterpiece is a mix of sausages and bean sprouts, which I think can accomodate both vegans and normal people.

Would you like to share the recipe with us?
By all means! You take the sausages and the bean sprouts and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some salted brioches.

Do not mind, my recipe derives from one for sandwiches. So you make the sandwiches, then you discard the bread and mix sausages and bean sprouts with some balsamic vinegar and you are done!

Do you Google yourself often?
Not so often. Say every other day or so. But lately Google asks "Did you mean Ron Huward", who supposedly is a retired insurance agent from Chicago. That's quite discouraging, but not as much worrisome as finding that according to Bing my name sounds like a revolting blasphemy in Bulgarian.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
It's a no-brainer! Yoda.

With all due respect, you know that that's not a real person, don't you?
It's not!? I've wasted the best years of my life!

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Ron Howard's home telephone number :
6516339966 7209114296 215915461 3276320580 683363603 7681492812 4487629104 3898892135 311678357 2754412442 2290038352 6772984625 3425825985 634486784 9810964163 9731919656 654035178 8619814102 4270181838 8069086329
I arranged a short rendezvous with Ron Howard weeks beforehand. The resulting article was stunning, like it was written by Margaret Mitchell under the influence of too much tequila. It was highly regrettable that my neighbor (maybe on purpose!) destroyed my only copy! After I punished myself, I tried to recall those excellent words. So, to be frank, I'm not so confident this web page contains an absolutely accurate report of our conversation, and now I'm starting to wonder if it actually was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.