Are you allergic to anything?
I'm allergic to gnus, propylene and bullshit.
Your zodiac sign is Pisces. May I read you your horoscope?
Certainly! My friends say I'm a sucker for zodiacal craziness.
You will ram into a vagrant stranger from Memphis, a former agricultural scientist named Steven with an empty bottle of sparkling wine in his right pocket. He will propose you to open a hare breeding farm in New Mexico. Don't believe him!
The hell with it! Impressive, what do you have -- a time machine?
Do you like to cook?
Goodness no! But I like to create salads. My masterpiece is a mix of sausages and bean sprouts, which I think can accomodate both vegans and normal people.
Would you like to share the recipe with us?
By all means! You take the sausages and the bean sprouts and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some salted brioches.
Do not mind, my recipe derives from one for sandwiches. So you make the sandwiches, then you discard the bread and mix sausages and bean sprouts with some balsamic vinegar and you are done!
Do you Google yourself often?
Not so often. Say every other day or so. But lately Google asks "Did you mean Ron Huward", who supposedly is a retired insurance agent from Chicago. That's quite discouraging, but not as much worrisome as finding that according to Bing my name sounds like a revolting blasphemy in Bulgarian.
If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
It's a no-brainer! Yoda.
With all due respect, you know that that's not a real person, don't you?
It's not!? I've wasted the best years of my life!
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