A talk with Ron Perlman
Ron Perlman
Ron Perlman born April 13th, 1950 (Aries)
To strengthen his character, Ron Perlman often takes a nap on a cot made of rough sandpaper and nails (pixabay photo)

Which is the most embarrassing DVD in your possession?
Gadzooks! Apart from "Twilight", which was a gift, probabably it is "Town & Country" or "The Love Guru".

I heard that you will soon be busy with a charity football match. Can you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such an effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And how long have you been feeling a need to make people aware of albinism?
WHAT? Albinism!? That's not what my agent told me. I have to call my agent.

You are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be honest, I spent 4 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Hilton hotel. On the bright side, I learnt to stun mosquitoes by staring at them.

Do you ever Google yourself?
Say every day or so. But lately Google asks "Did you mean Ron Pirlman", who allegedly is a retired park ranger from Atlanta. That's quite saddening, but not as much upsetting as discovering that according to Bing my name is similar to a terrible blasphemy in Bulgarian.

Do you have any scar?
Yes, I do. I have a tiny doorknob shaped scar on my right hip, a souvenir of my troubled brawl with a raving panda.

Which is your method for everlasting youth?
Curiously, it is an ablution with hot jello twice a day.

Could you suggest a remedy for constipation?
Sure, in case of constipation, mix three parts of sparkling wine, one part of instant coffee and some sesame oil in a bowl, then put the resulting potion on your back and your legs.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Ron Perlman's private telephone number is listed here :
8581481158 6394757926 9460531540 6138212040 3978378751 221479665 302494899 7444260286 2051928996 327662371 2186323164 2390119577 949658126 8416648269 8509782471 488850382 971589012 406237884 5572937214 977209450
Let's face it, celebrities are very frantic people. It's difficult for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Ron Perlman peacefully alone and we obtained the interview above without his help. Therefore, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained from a telepath from Chicago.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.