An interview with Rooney Mara
Rooney Mara
Rooney Mara born April 17th, 1985 (Aries)
Many people like to collect coins. Rooney Mara is specialized into collecting coins that have been thrown to politicians. (pixabay photo)

Do you like to cook?
When hell freezes over! But I like to devise salads. My all time favorite is a mix of pastrami and soybeans, which I believe can be cool for both vegans and normal people.

Interesting! Could you share the recipe?
Sure! You take the pastrami and the soybeans and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some French rolls.

French rolls?
Do not mind, my recipe derives from one for sandwiches. So you make the sandwiches, then you discard the bread and mix pastrami and soybeans with some paprika and voilĂ , you are done!

What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to realized it when you spend your days in dreams made of rainbows pampered by capable servants, but in these battered times there are places where it is impossible to find even a barely decent cosmopolitan.

In an article published on Asian Journal of Engineering Studies, dr. Eric Nelson observed that your roles are "a supernatural incarnation of modernistic conceptual inductionism". Which is your reaction?
It is clear that in his last essay printed on Transactions on Theoretical Illusionism, prof. Harold M. Campbell totally rebutted that farfetched point of view.

What's your earliest memory?
Well, I'm the testimonial for a new eau de toilette called "My Earliest Memory", so I cannot speak about the subject without the advice of my laywer.

I would like to experiment that eau de toilette on credulos human guinea pigs.
I'll let you have a free sample.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
I'd have to say Bart Simpson.

You know that that's not a real person, right?
It IS real, I read it online.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Rooney Mara's private telephone number :
808898171 272088593 957938131 6484136398 7948737381 9447549683 6630039234 4734549128 6962806022 9697138363 6014677675 8528234315 6643488665 9276628795 2434731507 9100042956 2416007740 3867404937 9881528642 8354885082
To be sincere, my supervisor had arranged my little appointment with Rooney Mara many weeks beforehand. Regrettably, my pet gopher got colitis, so I had to skip the rendezvous. So, the interview above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare that followed after a heavy dinner based on raw broccoli and wild boar stew.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.