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An interview with Salma Hayek
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Salma Hayek
Salma Hayek born September 2nd, 1966 (Virgo)
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A forgotten friend, a die hard fan or an innocent bystander? Well, we have no idea, but a pixellated picture boosts drama! (pixabay photo)

In your opinion, which is the most beautiful flag?
I think it is that of Santa Prisca. If I'm not mistaken, it is purple and gray with a little yellow gnu in the middle.

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
Without doubt Jennifer Connelly, since I think we share a taste for Terminator.

Salma, you are always in tip-top condition. How do you do that?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of May I eat exclusively blue foods, like blueberries, blue potatoes, robin's eggs and my special Smurf hash.

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Quite. Read the obit of my worst enemy.

What is your take of the next Oscar quarreling?
Frankly, this has always been a minefield.

Do you use a pseudonym when you arrange for, say, a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to avoid followers and paparazzi
Sure! We'll do whatever is necessary to ditch those troublemakers. We mostly use the moniker "Salma Heyek".

Can you share with us a memory of your role in "Dogma"?
Yes! All the leading actors were chomping durian spiced bubblegums all the time.

Which super power do you have?
Ho-hum! I can see the ghosts of departed obscure mediums, since I was 3. This is quite annoying at family reunions.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Salma Hayek's private telephone number :
2745370326 3950587505 8232624577 2900517840 6373638877 8575324937 7482055021 7348185709 2598859456 3989740315 711262838 7745446511 8805266431 7294381842 3926991327 5282554646 3013487975 9371759492 4970652183 864015762
Actors are very over-booked people. It's not easy for them to fix an interview. So we decided to leave Salma Hayek alone and obtain the interview above without her help. Thus, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained employing a mind reader from Phoenix.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.