If I may say so, Sam, you are well known for your bizarre requests when staying in hotels. Is it true? Can you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
Lately I've found that I can't stay anywhere without a lobster pizza or titanium-plated potpourri delivered everyday to my door.
Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
Since I have embraced ecology, I can't wipe my naughty bits with industrial products. My hand-made toilet paper is obtained from the petals of Crotella densiflora, an elusive parasitic orchid which grows only in Borneo.
Apart from acting, is there one thing you do exceptionally well?
Actually, I can balance a dish on my forehead for at least one hour.
Sam, do you like tigers?
Why you do not like tigers, if I may ask?
To be frank, they reek! And one tiger bite my grandpa in his private parts. This is one of the reasons I decided to become an artist, so I should rethink my opinion about tigers.
You have been the recipient of several awards. Do you remember what is the first award you ever won?
I won the "Chocolate Elk Trophy" assigned by the municipality of Los Angeles for "remarkable and nonessential stage achievement" at the early age of 10.
Sam, where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next vacation I rented a gorgeous manor in a secretive valley of Tazbekistan. The only problem was making a payment in Linden dollars to the good-natured property owner from Nigeria that contacted me about business in the interweb.
Sam, according to some witnesses, you have been in a compromising location with a singer whose name or gender I'm not at liberty to bring out in the open. Care to comment?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with O.U..
I may have a photo.
Well, the photo is probably just an accident...
An accident? I do not understand.
You know, accidents are known to happen all the time. Like when you accidentally take a double exposure. Or, for example, your house or your dog may "by accident" fly into pieces. Are we on the level?
I think you are right, this is a photo of myself with a wig...
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