You have been the recipient of uncountable prizes. What is the first award you ever won?
At the age of 9, I won the "Copper Jackal Prize" assigned by the city of Tucson for "outstanding and unneeded stage performance".
Which is your technique for perpetual youth?
Only few know it is a scrubbing with fresh unicorn tears twice a day.
If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
It's a no-brainer! Mary Poppins.
Not to offend you, but you know that that's not a real person, right?
Not to offend YOU, but it IS real, in a documentary.
If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a groundhog. A big, fat, peaceful groundhog, satiated and dozy in the shade of a large tree.
Do you have any scar?
Actually, I do. I have a little snail shaped scar on my right forearm, which ensued from my traumatic brawl with a drunk elk.
Do people yell your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Naturally! The mass loves me so much. My strength is that I'm global: I move notable NASA consultants and homely public defenders alike. You know? There are at least 12 avenues with my name in four different countries, not counting Molvanîa and Estonia.
Do you know Mark Thompson (a former clinical haematologist, now a fruit grower) from Colorado Springs?
Not personally, but my cousin has been briefly married to him. Then there was half a scandal about the odd suicide of a former lover, so their marriage came to a sudden conclusion.
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