A conversation with Scarlett Johansson
Scarlett Johansson
Scarlett Johansson born November 22nd, 1984 (Scorpio)
One of Scarlett Johansson's most firm resolutions is to obtain soon a license for flying a dirigible (source)

Scarlett, should you give up acting, which career would you pick up?
Almost surely that of lightning rod installer. I already have some experience in that field.

What’s in your pocket right now?
Balderdash! This is a tricky one. As this interview is a fantasy of your indecent neurons, I'm completely stark-naked, so no pockets at all.

Scarlett, can you share with us a memory of your role in "Lost in Translation"?
I guess so! They do not assemble a cast like that anymore! There are a lot of valid causes for that...

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Surely a gopher. A large, fat, poised gopher, sated and dozy in the summer shade.

I heard you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
Actually, I lived 4 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Sheraton hotel. However, I learnt to levitate just a little.

Scarlett, are you superstitious?
Of course! I have to grate the sole of my shoes right before an important business meeting.

Could you suggest a remedy for diarrhea?
Here it is my fantastic quick fix for diarrhea. Mix one part of whiskey, two parts of instant coffee and some chives. Guzzle the resulting potion every 20 minutes for at least 4 hours.

What's the strangest dream that you remember?
Not really a dream: I was in a vacant dark place. A strange odour lingering in the air. Then I remembered I got hammered at a rerun of "Just Go With It" in a murky drive-in near Tucson.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Scarlett Johansson's secret telephone number :
7974918397 978675603 8970295510 2878284125 7796231006 9683413057 9964793400 3126667614 9638837818 2132321958 5223094936 9528649868 5942736242 4671655648 2766544721 8948474114 2298914962 7097530751 6118152254 8390373931
Let's face it, actors are busy people. It's not easy for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Scarlett Johansson totally alone and to obtain the interview above without her help. Hence, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained via a computer we initialized with all the available info about Scarlett.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.