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A talk with Sean Diddy Combs
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Sean Diddy Combs
Sean Diddy Combs born November 4th, 1969 (Scorpio)
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An acclaimed clinic in South Dakota is currently looking for Sean Diddy Combs' fans for a study on nightmares induction (source)

Which is your earliest memory?
Well, I'm the testimonial for a new infant formula called "My Earliest Memory", so I cannot speak about the subject freely.

I'm eager to try it.
I'll let you have a sample.

Are you allergic to anything?
Actually, I'm allergic to benzene, negativity and lion tears (please, don't ask!).

Sean, if I may ask, how do you invest the money you make?
If you want to become rich fast, I can give you the number of some financial advisors from Yemen who can double your stake. Just give them a photo of your kids as a sign of your good will.

Sean, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Sean's wonder". In the middle of one of my famed explorations of the Hymalayas, I uncovered a tree unknown to botanists, now named Peretrapapa barbata, that blooms only every 7 years. It then gives fruits whose taste reminds of plums and bbq sauce. You have to be rich enough even to find it unattractive...

Sean, are you superstitious?
Positively! I have to hug 3 random people who wear a black shirt before a relevant occasion.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
A restraining order disallows me from expressing my opinion.

Can you support the hearsay about the theft of the Mongolian death worm photos?
Sod a dog! I believe you have a senseless desire to buy the farm. Capishe? Well, I have a friend who has a friend that for $3000,... Nevermind. You like surprises, don't ya?

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Sean Diddy Combs' secret telephone number :
738157520 790780805 4422912657 6892902242 4312622808 803688745 4106026899 2538051373 9805749416 813329638 7192761731 664825270 337678512 2585615245 869700504 8682293578 8632034386 331716676 4660448125 9355407813
I patiently arranged a hurried appointment with Sean Diddy Combs days beforehand. The resulting transcription was jaw-dropping, like it was written by Astrid Lindgren under the effects of unhealthy substances. Hence, it was highly lamentable that my cat devoured my only copy! After I assessed the situation, I tried to recollect those great words. To be clear here: I'm not so sure this web page contains an entirely genuine chronicle of what transpired during our meeting, and now I'm beginning to be uncertain it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.