A talk with Sean Diddy Combs
Sean Diddy Combs
Sean Diddy Combs born November 4th, 1969 (Scorpio)
An acclaimed clinic in South Dakota is currently looking for Sean Diddy Combs' fans for a study on nightmares induction (source)

Which is your earliest memory?
Well, I'm the testimonial for a new infant formula called "My Earliest Memory", so I cannot speak about the subject freely.

I'm eager to try it.
I'll let you have a sample.

Are you allergic to anything?
Actually, I'm allergic to benzene, negativity and lion tears (please, don't ask!).

Sean, if I may ask, how do you invest the money you make?
If you want to become rich fast, I can give you the number of some financial advisors from Yemen who can double your stake. Just give them a photo of your kids as a sign of your good will.

Sean, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Sean's wonder". In the middle of one of my famed explorations of the Hymalayas, I uncovered a tree unknown to botanists, now named Peretrapapa barbata, that blooms only every 7 years. It then gives fruits whose taste reminds of plums and bbq sauce. You have to be rich enough even to find it unattractive...

Sean, are you superstitious?
Positively! I have to hug 3 random people who wear a black shirt before a relevant occasion.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
A restraining order disallows me from expressing my opinion.

Can you support the hearsay about the theft of the Mongolian death worm photos?
Sod a dog! I believe you have a senseless desire to buy the farm. Capishe? Well, I have a friend who has a friend that for $3000,... Nevermind. You like surprises, don't ya?

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Sean Diddy Combs' secret telephone number :
738157520 790780805 4422912657 6892902242 4312622808 803688745 4106026899 2538051373 9805749416 813329638 7192761731 664825270 337678512 2585615245 869700504 8682293578 8632034386 331716676 4660448125 9355407813
I patiently arranged a hurried appointment with Sean Diddy Combs days beforehand. The resulting transcription was jaw-dropping, like it was written by Astrid Lindgren under the effects of unhealthy substances. Hence, it was highly lamentable that my cat devoured my only copy! After I assessed the situation, I tried to recollect those great words. To be clear here: I'm not so sure this web page contains an entirely genuine chronicle of what transpired during our meeting, and now I'm beginning to be uncertain it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.