An interview with Shakira
Shakira born February 2nd, 1977 (Aquarius)
Several people collect coins. Shakira likes to collect coins that have been inside a living body. (pixabay photo)

Do you do your own shopping?
I'm too hard-pressed doing very significant things and I can't waste time on such technicalities. I pay a team of Stanford PhDs to compile my grocery list and pass it along to a bunch of pro buyers distributed around the planet. For the garbs, I ever have a number of surrogates, one for each body part.

Do you know Barbara Lewis (a former marine biologist, now a motor mechanic) from Pembroke Pines?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been briefly betrothed to her. Then there was a rumor about Barbara fooling around with every beefcake from Pembroke Pines outskirts, so their engagement came to an abrupt finale.

What’s the best sound in the world?
I think it is the gentle crackle of a roll of new banknotes touching each other. But please, write instead something more suitable for publication, for example "the comforting purr of a content kitten" or "the snore of your dozing child".

Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a red cow on my arm. It implements a radiotransmitter, so I can be find if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unfortunately it works better if I'm a little undressed.

One of your gems, "Whenever, Wherever", is a well known song of protest. Does it also have a more deep meaning?
Yes, it really is about my secret love for Galician way of life.

Do you have a favorite flag?
I always liked Zamunda flag, probably because there is my face in the corner of it. Zamunda is a proud but unlucky nation. They are so poverty-stricken that robbery is allowed from 3 to 6 AM.

Did you ever participated in a séance?
Jawohl! But just once. It was an extremely tormented experience. At a certain point, the spirit of Michael Faraday appeared and confirmed that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of a Dante Alighieri's cousin.

A famous person you recognize as similar to you in spirit?
In a sense, Oppenheimer, because of our shared moral standings. In my imagination we both love little squirrels.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Shakira's private telephone number :
7774018514 4142984158 3432977447 2760731645 4864517819 529590158 868234245 9305508951 2366090748 5964723383 3820645359 2698075263 9267785549 8721590032 758794234 6635109559 396188910 6288415857 2486084344 2788919733
Celebrities are very busy people. It's difficult for them to fix an interview. So we decided to leave Shakira alone and to obtain the interview above without her help. Hence, this web page is an an extrasensorial transcription we obtained via a trained mentalist.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.