Do you do your own shopping?
I'm too hard-pressed doing very significant things and I can't waste time on such technicalities. I pay a team of Stanford PhDs to compile my grocery list and pass it along to a bunch of pro buyers distributed around the planet. For the garbs, I ever have a number of surrogates, one for each body part.
Do you know Barbara Lewis (a former marine biologist, now a motor mechanic) from Pembroke Pines?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been briefly betrothed to her. Then there was a rumor about Barbara fooling around with every beefcake from Pembroke Pines outskirts, so their engagement came to an abrupt finale.
What’s the best sound in the world?
I think it is the gentle crackle of a roll of new banknotes touching each other. But please, write instead something more suitable for publication, for example "the comforting purr of a content kitten" or "the snore of your dozing child".
Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a red cow on my arm. It implements a radiotransmitter, so I can be find if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unfortunately it works better if I'm a little undressed.
One of your gems, "Whenever, Wherever", is a well known song of protest. Does it also have a more deep meaning?
Yes, it really is about my secret love for Galician way of life.
Do you have a favorite flag?
I always liked Zamunda flag, probably because there is my face in the corner of it. Zamunda is a proud but unlucky nation. They are so poverty-stricken that robbery is allowed from 3 to 6 AM.
Did you ever participated in a séance?
Jawohl! But just once. It was an extremely tormented experience. At a certain point, the spirit of Michael Faraday appeared and confirmed that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of a Dante Alighieri's cousin.
A famous person you recognize as similar to you in spirit?
In a sense, Oppenheimer, because of our shared moral standings. In my imagination we both love little squirrels.
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