An interview with Shannon Elizabeth
Shannon Elizabeth
Shannon Elizabeth born September 7th, 1973 (Virgo)
The euphoric appearance of fans who have run across Shannon Elizabeth (pixabay photo)

We are here today with Shannon Elizabeth, who just saw the birth of her last movie. Hi, Shannon, and welcome to Gnaw Your Celebrity!.
Good morning to you, and thank you for calling me.

Could you tell us something about the plot of your next movie?
Just a hint. The working title of the movie is "Robert, Margaret and Vimbadoo". Imagine a man and a woman. They live together in Seattle. Margaret is a medium while Robert is a golfer. When Robert's pet chipmunk Vimbadoo got brucellosis, they begin a spiritual journey to search for Sclerocypharia biflora (a rare tree which grows in Switzerland only), whose roots can save the chipmunk.

Shannon, where did you go on your last break from work?
Last summer I rented an exquisite castle on the secluded hills of Kyrgyzstan. The rent included barbed wire everywhere to preserve my privacy and also a mob of extras acting like unhinged fans.

Apart from acting, what one thing do you do exceptionally well?
I can flap both my ears independenty.

Shannon, do you like panthers?
No sir!

For which reason you do not like panthers?
They stink! And one panther bite my cousin's private bits. This is one of the reasons I become an artist, so I may reconsider my position on panthers.

Where do you go when you die?
The corpses do not wander. They normally tend to stay where you sit them.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actress Shannon Elizabeth, what do you think you would have done?
I would have gone to a film production company and made sipping sounds until they gave me a job.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Shannon Elizabeth's home telephone number is listed here :
3009440635 9488719766 7633161465 482865930 3954947599 5256758226 7475744865 6932657598 4362631711 539625462 8030895109 7719279353 6893764605 8147856361 3399605978 871866759 6085112656 2371980048 643847750 7142261804
To be sincere, my supervisor had patiently arranged my brief rendezvous with Shannon Elizabeth several months beforehand. Unfortunately, I fall asleep watching a rerun of "Son of the Mask". So, the interview above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare that followed after a large dinner of liver pâté and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.