Do you know any good haemorrhoids cure?
Sure, here it is my instant remedy for haemorrhoids. Mix two parts of rum, one part of tea and some soy sauce in a bowl, then drink this potion every 25 minutes for at least 3 hours.
Do you know Kathleen Turner (a former motorcycle mechanic, now a veterinarian) from Norman?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been married to her for 2 weeks. Then there was a public embarrassment about the bizarre suicide of a former lover, so their marriage came to a hasty finale.
Your zodiac sign is Sagittarius. Are you a typical Sagittarius?
You bet! I'm a little aloof, animated, tenacious and anxious. My relatives say that I'm also a bit paradoxical but that I think it is common in artist.
Sharlto, you appear to be always so full of life and sunny. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I truly believe that each and every one has a dark side. At times, when I meet a so-called artist, irritation darkens my soul and my vision blurs. And all of a sudden, I fight the need to seal forever those lecherous eyes. That is my sunny side... I let you discover, if you want, how my dark side is.
Sharlto, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Sharlto's marvel". In the middle of one of my peregrinations in the Hymalayas, I discovered a little new shrub, now named Linocisadana metallica, that blooms only every 4 years. It then gives fruits whose flavor reminds of apricots and coal. You have to be rich enough even to unlike it...
Do you do your own shopping?
I would love to, but I'm too occupied performing very significant things for the planet and I can't waste time on such technicalities. Usually, I retain a squad of shopping experts to elaborate my grocery list and texting it to a bunch of professional buyers distributed around the planet. For the garnments, always a critical issue, I ever have a crew of doubles, one for each body part.
Which is your favorite karaoke song?
When I want to start my session with a bang I sing "Coke Bottle" by Agnes Monica.
Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a blue weasel on my knee. It contains a radiotransmitter, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unluckily it works better if I'm a little disrobed.
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