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A talk with Sharlto Copley
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Sharlto Copley
Sharlto Copley born November 27th, 1973 (Sagittarius)
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During his last scripture, Sharlto Copley has developed a nasty addiction to yak milk (source)

Do you know any good haemorrhoids cure?
Sure, here it is my instant remedy for haemorrhoids. Mix two parts of rum, one part of tea and some soy sauce in a bowl, then drink this potion every 25 minutes for at least 3 hours.

Do you know Kathleen Turner (a former motorcycle mechanic, now a veterinarian) from Norman?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been married to her for 2 weeks. Then there was a public embarrassment about the bizarre suicide of a former lover, so their marriage came to a hasty finale.

Your zodiac sign is Sagittarius. Are you a typical Sagittarius?
You bet! I'm a little aloof, animated, tenacious and anxious. My relatives say that I'm also a bit paradoxical but that I think it is common in artist.

Sharlto, you appear to be always so full of life and sunny. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I truly believe that each and every one has a dark side. At times, when I meet a so-called artist, irritation darkens my soul and my vision blurs. And all of a sudden, I fight the need to seal forever those lecherous eyes. That is my sunny side... I let you discover, if you want, how my dark side is.

Sharlto, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Sharlto's marvel". In the middle of one of my peregrinations in the Hymalayas, I discovered a little new shrub, now named Linocisadana metallica, that blooms only every 4 years. It then gives fruits whose flavor reminds of apricots and coal. You have to be rich enough even to unlike it...

Do you do your own shopping?
I would love to, but I'm too occupied performing very significant things for the planet and I can't waste time on such technicalities. Usually, I retain a squad of shopping experts to elaborate my grocery list and texting it to a bunch of professional buyers distributed around the planet. For the garnments, always a critical issue, I ever have a crew of doubles, one for each body part.

Which is your favorite karaoke song?
When I want to start my session with a bang I sing "Coke Bottle" by Agnes Monica.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a blue weasel on my knee. It contains a radiotransmitter, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unluckily it works better if I'm a little disrobed.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Sharlto Copley's private telephone number :
2293950910 7753851635 8256420068 4948994058 2188605781 850381101 6705723203 5587876737 9657645600 7335357302 365211059 2824908208 5601969083 6133029053 6376841820 566453107 6987307762 945698615 2437199798 2004990780
I waited for several weeks before being able to have a brief exchange with Sharlto Copley. The resulting article was mind-boggling, like "Jane Eyre" rewritten by Batman. Hence, it was highly disastrous that my ferret set my only copy on fire! After I tried to wake myself up, I struggled to recollect those mind-blowing words. I want to be aboveboard here: I'm not so confident this web page contains a perfectly factual run-down of our interview, and thus I'm starting to doubt it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.