An interview with Sheryl Crow
Sheryl Crow
Sheryl Crow born February 11th, 1962 (Aquarius)
In her will, Sheryl Crow has provided that her body should be buried under a pyramid (pixabay photo)

Does your assistant use an alias when he books, say, a flight? You know, to protect your privacy and to avoid fans and journalists
Absolutely! I'll do whatever is necessary to evade those hooligans. We usually employ the moniker "Sheryl Cryw".

I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The details on my imminent book will soon be published in another book. What I can say here is that it will be my unofficial autobiography, a long awaited work soon to be released in daily instalments.

An imaginary character you think to as a part of your life?
None, but maybe Ernest Hemingway, because of our awesomeness. In my ideal world we both love little jackals.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Surely it is the placid jangle of two emeralds kissing each other. But please, write instead something more crowd-pleasing, like "the first 'mom' of your baby" or "the calming purr of a satisfied kitten".

Apart from singing, is there something in which you beat everybody else?
Actually, I can flap both my ears independenty while I pat my forehead.

Nowaday the problem of asthma in foxes is reaching huge dimensions. Are you doing something to alleviate the problem?
Oh yes! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night a week. The profits ($1,400/night) will be granted to a foundation for the cure of asthma in foxes.

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
According to my agent, Emilia Clarke, because I always liked her as Yoda.

Present-day world seems to be subject to ferocity and violence. What would Sheryl Crow do?
I've two inspirations for you: "Mad Max" and "Equilibrium".

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Sheryl Crow's private telephone number :
9028955121 6474348704 731221500 983872318 4964569863 7711175662 5201898498 9065892996 3196245128 2273503590 9997940431 9000569716 719064454 8481209575 4793584988 5053064551 2440906017 6365781668 7021005366 654008236
Clearly, vips are very busy people. It's not easy for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Sheryl Crow peacefully alone and obtain the interview above without her help. Hence, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained via a computer simulation of Sheryl.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.