An interview with Shia LaBeouf
Shia LaBeouf
Shia LaBeouf born June 11th, 1986 (Gemini)
Due to a freak accident occurred to his aunt, Shia LaBeouf has developed an irrational phobia for cookies and a rational one for porcelain dolls (pixabay photo)

Who are your heroes?
Oscar Wilde, Jack Sparrow, and myself.

I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my imminent book will soon be published in another book. What I can divulge now is that it will be my unofficial autobiography, a monumental work soon to be released in daily instalments.

Our society seems to be subject to violence and ferocity. What would Shia LaBeouf do?
I think we can learn from past movies, like "Robocop" and "1984".

Do you use an alias when you book a flight? You know, to protect your privacy and to deceive stalkers and followers
Sure! We do whatever is necessary to steer clear of those punks. We generally adopt the pseudonym "Shia LeBeouf".

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a beaver. A big, fat, tranquil beaver, full and somnolent in the summer shade.

Where do you go when you die?
It depends. If you behaved, you go to France, if you have been lifeless you go to Canada.

Do you know Harold W. Wright (a former conveyancer, now an ophthalmologist) from Columbus?
Not personally, but my cousin has been briefly married to him. Then there was some commotion about Harold having affairs with every woman aged 18-65, even barely breathing ones, so their marriage came to an abrupt end.

Your agent told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I spent 3 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Best Western hotel. However, I learnt to stun mosquitoes by staring at them.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Shia LaBeouf's secret telephone number :
2988771490 556594449 5585506546 5367492023 2848779450 4996690244 615448240 8096963796 4792657687 6269972511 4857539790 7394640390 582770378 9844965765 3927109824 6673564985 9789338068 5574466516 9949370855 2777451714
To be sincere, my boss had arranged my short talk with Shia LaBeouf many weeks beforehand. Unluckily, I decided at the last moment that I had better things to do, like feeding my pet groundhog or learning Chinese. So, this web page is essentially based on what Shia LaBeouf would have probably said if I have met him, as indicated by a statistics involving a couple of his fans.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Britt Robertson Wentworth Miller Teresa Palmer Jenna Dewan Tatum Britney Spears Patrick Wilson Kendra Wilkinson Sherilyn Fenn George Michael Luke Evans Demi Lovato Joe Cocker Noureen DeWulf Jessalyn Gilsig Rachelle Lefevre Michael Kenneth Williams Mahershala Ali Rebecca Ferguson Grant Gustin
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.