A conversation with Snoop Dogg
Snoop Dogg
Snoop Dogg born October 20th, 1971 (Libra)
Snoop Dogg is currently composing his unofficial autobiography, a long due work soon to be released in montly instalments. (pixabay photo)

Snoop, do you like bobcats?
Surely not!

Why you do not like bobcats?
To be honest, they stink! And one bobcat bite my grandpa's leg. This is one of the reasons I decided to become a singer, so I should probably rethink my relation with bobcats.

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I think that cooking food is a big waste of energy, since there are fast food joints and canteens willing to deliver my daily intake of fats and carbs. In the few occasions I indulge in cooking for my disciples, I like to create salads. My cornerstone is a mix of spam and soybeans, which I think can be fine for both vegans and normal people.

Intriguing! Would you like to share the recipe with us?
Sure! You take the spam and the soybeans and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some Italian focaccia.

It does not matter, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. So you make the sandwiches, then you throw away the bread and mix spam and soybeans with some olive oil and voilĂ , you are done!

Do you have any scar?
Yes, I do. I have a tiny caterpillar shaped scar on my right elbow, a souvenir of my painful brawl with a berserk weasel.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the singer Snoop Dogg, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at Duke University, signed up for Botanical Robotics 101, failed, and bailed out a month after that with a gambling addiction.

What is the strangest dream that you remember?
Not really a dream: I found myself alone in a desolate dark place. A vicios flavor in my mouth. Then I realized I got stoned at a rerun of "Exorcist II: The Heretic" in a bleak cinema near Denver.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Snoop Dogg's private telephone number :
962171999 613852814 523081891 5576561729 258029594 3141487845 545940572 3649325353 7092899167 2583029320 2961924669 811234403 248065621 9695709244 7055557299 5260479486 6577189319 9241475202 938432336 780259432
I dawdled forever for an occasion to have a brief talk with Snoop Dogg. The resulting piece was mind-boggling, like it was written by the spirit of Tennessee Williams after too much cider. Hence, it was awfully regrettable, to put it mildly, that my doctor by accident shredded my only copy! After I regained mental sanity, I attempted to recall those excellent words. I want to be clear here: I'm not one hundred percent confident this web page contains an entirely factual report of what transpired during our interview, and thus I'm starting to ask myself if it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.