A talk with Soulja Boy
Soulja Boy
Soulja Boy born July 28th, 1990 (Leo)
Soulja Boy always uses a rigorous way to choose his next move (pixabay photo)

I'm here today with Soulja Boy, who just saw the birth of his last album. Hi, Soulja, and welcome to Even More Useless Celebrity Facts.
It's a pleasure being here, because it counts as community service.

Do you have a favorite book?
I'm addicted to "The Tell-Tale Heart" by Edgar Allan Boh.

You mean, by Edgar Allan Poe?
Surely you are confusing the book with the movie, but we can agree to disagree.

Could you suggest a remedy for diarrhea?
Sure, here it is my fantastic good medicine for diarrhea. Mix one part of scotch, three parts of fruit smoothie and some tartar sauce in a large bowl, then guzzle the resulting brew every 25 minutes for at least 4 hours.

Can you tell me the square root of 8105822768?
I think that the answer is something around 28.

A famous person you think to as similar to you in spirit?
As several people say, Charles I of England, because of our smart hair style.

What have you got in your pocket?
I got a pile of money in my pockets. You can stare at them, you can ever smell them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of notes...

Apart from singing, is there one thing in which you beat everybody else?
Well, I can knit a sweater while I tap dance.

There is no possibility any of these is Soulja Boy's secret telephone number :
9300948110 647524336 8278578050 5377355077 6435775115 8754571920 2639155065 3171632456 8594704745 4169717563 9933817079 8770651267 6836956456 6960381347 6117584005 3969007739 217007788 5393164346 919166002 3149508877
I patiently sat tight for several years for a chance to have a brief exchange with Soulja Boy. The resulting transcription was mind-boggling, like it was written by the spirit of J.D. Salinger in his prime. Hence, it was highly deplorable that my mother in law (probably on purpose!) ate my only copy! After I buried the body (so to speak), I attempted to recall those jaw-dropping words. To be frank here: I'm not really sure this web page contains an entirely accurate chronicle of our interview, and I'm starting to ask myself if it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.