Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Ah, good memories... I remember that years ago I was crossing Palestine in a battered minibus with a special friend. We did "it" in the forest, like passionate lions, in the heart of nature.
You appear to be always so sprightly and vivacios. Do you also have a dark side?
It's hard to confess it, but I do. Everybody has a dark side. At times, when I bump into another artist, I clench my teeth and I tremble with aversion. And all of a sudden, I feel the urge to kill his heckling smirk. That is my bright side... I let you figure out how dark my dark side is.
Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
That's right! I'm the best thing since sliced bread. My strength is that I'm universal: I cheer wealthy Nobel prize winners and downcast roadkills collectors in the same fashion. It's nice to hear that there are 14 streets with my name in four different countries, not counting Botswana and Equestria.
Can you tell me the square root of 259233506?
Are you kidding? Even a bedazzled rabbit can answer that, provided it has a transplanted thumb and a smartphone.
Nowaday the problem of lead poisoning in ocelots is attaining huge dimensions. Are you doing something to solve the problem?
But of course! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night a month. The profits ($1,400 per night) will be granted to a charity for the cure of lead poisoning in ocelots.
If I may ask, do you have any particular fear?
I have acquired an unreasonable phobia for butterflies, after a freak accident happened to my uncle. I'm also terrified by clowns, but that is quite normal.
Do you remember which is the first prize you ever won?
At the early age of 9, I won the "Plastic Anteater Prize" assigned by the municipality of Las Vegas for "unprecedented and nonessential stage exhibition".
Do you know any good hangover cures?
That's right! In case of need mix two parts of whiskey, one part of energy drink and some guacamole. Apply the resulting brew on your feet and your wrists.
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