A talk with Steve Carell
Steve Carell
Steve Carell born August 16th, 1962 (Leo)
Is her his secret lover? (pixabay photo)

A fictional character you think to as a part of your life?
Probably Grover Cleveland, because of our similar way of life. In my ideal world we both breed cute raccoons.

Steve, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Steve's gem". In the middle of one of my famed wanderings in the Amazon basin, I uncovered a little plant unknown to botanists, now named Coleocyphopella bulbifera, which every 9 years blooms and produces fruits whose flavor reminds of mangoes and pulled pork. It may seem disagreeable, but it may become a compelling habit.

I heard that you will soon be busy with a charity football match. Care to tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a humble effort?
I was forced by my best friend, who wouldn't stop repeating how it would have been such a good idea.

And since when did you feel a need to inform people about tennis elbow?
Since my pet gazelle had it.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yes! I have an orange squirrel on my shoulder. It is glowing in the dark, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in Las Vegas outskirts, but unluckily it works better if I'm somehow disrobed.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a ferret. A big, fat, serene ferret, sated and sleepy in a summer breeze.

Do you ever Google yourself?
Not so often anymore. Say every day or so. But lately Google often says "Including results for Steve Cerell", who apperently is a former fibrous plasterer from Las Vegas. That's quite annoying, but not as much worrisome as discovering that according to Yahoo my name is similar to a shocking blasphemy in Chinese.

If you’re at karaoke, what’s your song of choice?
My real love is Bach.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Steve Carell's home telephone number :
6639365491 3876284980 9612094376 4687437307 9202881137 902222348 664847604 624881017 911982669 9795656806 7181554961 2558556142 4282650965 5339391156 6908036493 2005959524 6159841985 2210371139 7685568590 5354293939
To be frank, my supervisor had lined up my short meeting with Steve Carell many weeks beforehand. Unluckily, I decided I had more interesting things to do, like visiting Canada or growing medicinal herbs. So, the interview above is mainly the recollection of a dream I had following a generous dinner of deep-fried Mars bars and cabbage stew.
Other interviews worth checking:
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.