A conversation with Susan Sarandon
Susan Sarandon
Susan Sarandon born October 4th, 1946 (Libra)
In her will, Susan Sarandon has specified that her ashes should be scattered on the Moon, possibly by hand. (source)

I'm here tonight with Susan Sarandon, who just survived the mammoth task of her last movie. Hi, Susan, and welcome to C*E*L*E*B.
Good evening to you, and thank you for calling me.

Which is your method for eternal beauty?
Only few know it is a daily scrubbing with warm tomato sauce.

If I may say so, Susan, you are also well known for your bizarre requests when staying in hotels. Can you explain us why and maybe make an example of something you may ask?
I can't survive without dehydrated sparkling wine or purple glow-in-the-dark slippers made of petals delivered everyday to my room.

In a paper published on International Journal of Pragmatic Utopianism, prof. Charles King has described your roles as "a supernatural personification of modern pragmatic Freudianism". Which is your reaction?
Actually, I think that in his last letter appeared on Transactions on Pragmatic Logic, dr. Mark N. Mitchell utterly refuted that implausible point of view.

Susan, do you have something to say to young people?
Why not! Don't let the color of your skin make you feel less than awesome. Unless you are green. In that case you are probably going to answer yourself the final summons, so goodbye.

Where do you go when you die?
30 feet under, usually, but if you are cremated then your remains can be dispersed, most of the times in the wrong place.

Could you tell us something about your future project?
Sure thing! I'm on the set of the sequel of "Jonah Hex", a gem whose importance has not been recognized.

I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The details on my forthcoming book will soon be printed in another book. What I can say now is that it will be my unauthorized autobiography. It will be tattoed on legs and foreheads of 1,000 fans that will be dispersed in Houston.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Susan Sarandon's home telephone number :
5045808997 635519422 435570146 476308486 916068263 9295905168 8515806634 7847177276 3675633156 760624169 5714094850 5962312190 6427986392 4078936726 385771984 4775793819 7899837772 6396633395 8609249330 570282499
My hurried appointment with Susan Sarandon has been set up many days in advance. The resulting article was marvelous, like it was written by the ghost of John Steinbeck under the effects of prescription stimulants. So, it was very unfortunate that another inmate set my only copy on fire! After I un-fainted, I made an effort to summon up those great words. I want to be straight here: I'm not really confident this web page contains an entirely truly run-down of our appointment, and so I'm starting to be uncertain it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.