An interview with Suzanne Vega
Suzanne Vega
Suzanne Vega born July 11th, 1959 (Cancer)
In her secluded cavern Suzanne Vega is boldly trying fo find a way to turn old tires into parmisan cheese (pixabay photo)

Could you improvise a poem for us.
Sure! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away your love,
you took the respect away from me.
A button, a book forgotten in a drawer
the tired keepsakes of you.
You took away my hope,
all and everything you took away,
so how come your mother is here to stay?

I heard that you will soon be busy with a charity marathon. Care to tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a humiliating effort?
I was made by my parakeet, who wouldn't stop repeating how it would have been such a good idea.

And how long have you been feeling an urge to fight shingles?
Since I imagined I contracted it.

Which is your next musical experiment?
Next month I'll release a cryptic recording of country covers of Frank Sinatra greatest hits, sung in Maori, Hindi and Japanese. I have no doubts it will be the climax of my career.

If I may say so, Suzanne, you are also well known for your strange demands when staying in hotels. Can you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
Suzanne needs what Suzanne needs, and she generally gets it. Whether it's mammoth jerky or gold-plated potpourri.

Suzanne, are you superstitious?
For certain! I need to speak for a least 10 minutes without using the letter "G" right before a significant event. Clearly not this one.

Does your secretary use an alias when he makes reservation for, say, a flight? You know, to protect your privacy and to get rid of stalkers and followers
I guess so! We go to any length to avoid those critters. We generally adopt the pseudonym "Suzanne Vyga".

Don't you think it is time you write a book on your life?
Definitely so! It is unfortunate that I have so little time, if any, to write. Recently I've read the back cover of "The Tell-Tale Heart", and I found it more or less acceptable. On that account, I've asked my agent to call the author - a certain Edgar Allan Poe - since I really need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not received any answer.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Suzanne Vega's home telephone number :
3869720559 2245905684 9720223869 423563675 6709917742 7910827303 9726109639 619542777 6707749303 5585823072 5639745714 6130288143 385269246 774197925 913373951 439530893 959826200 253755814 5487215459 7302565150
I patiently sat tight for many years before being able to have a little conversation with Suzanne Vega. The resulting transcription was excellent, like "Lord of the Flies" rewritten by Hellboy. It was awfully deplorable that my koala by accident (I assume) set my only copy on fire! After I took my medications, I attempted to remember those excellent words. To be straight, I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page contains a totally genuine account of what transpired during our exchange, and thus I'm starting to be uncertain it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.