An interview with Suzanne Vega
Suzanne Vega
Suzanne Vega born July 11th, 1959 (Cancer)
Because of an innocuous freak accident with her blimp, Suzanne Vega has lived for 2 months in the Amazon rainforest. She was alone, apart from her cat Limbaloo and her strong will (source)

Suzanne, do you like gerbils?
Gosh no!

For which reason you do not like gerbils, if I may ask?
Actually, they reek! And one gerbil bite my grandpa's leg. That was one of the reasons I become a singer, so I may probably rethink my position on gerbils.

Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
Common brands are for common people. My toilet paper is obtained from the petals of Dissostemma cauliflora, a rare orchid which grows only in Chile.

Do you like to cook?
Shucks no! But I like to create salads. My treasure is a mix of spam and bean sprouts, which I assume can satisfy both vegetarians and normal people.

Intriguing! Could you share the recipe with us?
Sure! You take the spam and the bean sprouts and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some sesame buns.

Sesame buns?
It does not matter, my recipe comes from one for sandwiches. So you make those sandwiches, then you throw away the bread and mix spam and bean sprouts with some paprika and there it is!

What do you think about the international situation?
Holy cow! I think it is very grim, since on this bitter Earth there are places where it is hopeless to find even an adequate margarita.

Suzanne, do you have any vice?
I watch really lame videos on YouTube for hours. Well, surely you are going to blame me for that. Fortunately another vice of mine is not giving a damn.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Suzanne Vega's home telephone number :
9270469317 6907586111 5453279999 398802852 950133075 270914253 3923742529 8642279019 7955174571 5003964485 9278497566 866461243 5827564125 2976494273 4696588036 3172955141 6143423064 8499145614 7599136710 5583065714
My brief meeting with Suzanne Vega has been planned for days. The resulting interview was jaw-dropping, like "The Odyssey" rewritten by Thor. So, it was awfully lamentable that my mother in law devoured my only copy! After I recounted my vitals, I made an effort to extract from my failing memory those wondrous words. I want to be straight, I'm not really so confident this web page contains an entirely precise account of what transpired during our appointment, and so I'm starting to question whether it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.