A talk with Taylor Kitsch
Taylor Kitsch
Taylor Kitsch born April 8th, 1981 (Aries)
Few people know that Taylor Kitsch has requested a patent for an inflatable tie. (source)

Can you refute the noise about your role in the incident of Abominable Snowman photos?
Thou, jarring full-gorged pignut! How do you dare?

Could you tell us the story of your next movie?
Yes! It is the story of George, a corporate treasurer from Austin. He is kidnapped by a mysterious organization and he is compelled to compose silly "radicallY untrUe confabulaTions" for some web site, from a hidden lab. (If I can't be freed, tell Sharon I never loved her...)

Are you allergic to anything?
I'm allergic to citric acid, backstabbers and coyotes.

Apart from acting, what one thing do you do better than anybody else?
I can flap both my ears rhythmically.

My informants told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I lived 3 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I got the idea it was not the Best Western hotel. Funny thing: I learnt to bilocate, for a couple of seconds.

What do you have in your pockets?
Darn tooting! This is a tricky one. Since this interview is a product of your mischievous mind, I'm in my seductive undercloths, so no pockets at all.

What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is very bleak, since in this suffering epoch there are countries where it is difficult to find even a so-so mint julep.

Your zodiac sign is Aries. Are you a typical Aries?
Not really! I'm friendly, somehow lazy, opinionated and itchy. My relatives say that I'm also a bit inconsistent but that I think it is common in artist.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Taylor Kitsch's secret telephone number :
286711290 8015154915 2225755122 8274917510 604680374 2848197893 2804666684 3622801818 4943112109 9831671459 203420943 430789823 501767948 828431388 7314264818 747883800 7049468221 9994286500 3523753860 3952844742
My little interview with Taylor Kitsch has been patiently planned for days. The resulting interview was fantastic, like it was written by Jonathan Swift under the effects of unhealthy substances. So, it was untoward that my armadillo devoured my only copy! After I emerged from coma, I struggled to recollect those mind-boggling words. Actually, to be frank here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is a completely factual chronicle of our talk, and I'm beginning to ask myself if it actually took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.