A conversation with Taylor Lautner
Taylor Lautner
Taylor Lautner born February 11th, 1992 (Aquarius)
Like many Aquarius people, Taylor Lautner is inclined to candies addiction (pixabay photo)

Which is your secret for flawless skin?
Curiously, it is a dousing with lukewarm jello once a day.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Between you and me? It is the reassuring crackle of a roll of new banknotes touching each other. But please, write instead something more likeable, like "the consoling purr of an untroubled kitten" or "the first word of your son".

Could you tell us something about your future project?
Yes. I'm on the set of the remake of "The Adventures Of Rocky & Bullwinkle", an underestimated masterpiece whose meaning has not been acknowledged.

In your opinion, which is the most beautiful flag?
I think it is that of Elbonia, probably because it has my face in the center. Elbonia is a beautiful but unfortunate place. They are so penniless they recycle dandruff.

Can you tell me the square root of 783937883?
No, I thought that numbers with so many digits could only be telephone numbers, or my revenues.

Could you tell us what's your earliest memory?
Only few people know that I have the blessing of total recall. Indeed, I have a clear memory of the moment I was born. You know, it was a night in February. An almost magic winter night, the moon a shimme on the quieting cover of snow, the city finally at rest. And amidst all the beauty, I was there, soaked from head to toe with blood, in a room full of people howling like wolves, running around like wingless flies. The first, but not the best day of my life...

At least there is a happy end...
That's nothing, my entire existence is like a bath in an ocean of tears.

What’s your worst habit?
Well, sometimes if I chomp chewing gum and all of a sudden I need to empty my mouth I'm not that finical about where I spit the debris: it may be a spitton but also a half-full bottle of champagne.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Taylor Lautner's secret telephone number :
7924940221 4288586225 4550274809 8068270018 477715392 8347306824 8897228735 3212504066 612751143 496587922 8258733390 9313149594 2397881814 2216006561 8361321134 5326528654 6424004673 6325508858 3098756435 7515622812
I scheduled a brief conversation with Taylor Lautner days in advance. The resulting interview was mind-blowing, like "The Big Sleep" rewritten by Doctor Doom. It was highly unlucky, to put it mildly, that my koala ate my only copy! After I regained my composure, I made an attempt to summon up those magnificent words. I want to be clear here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is an entirely truthful report of our talk, and thus I'm beginning to doubt it actually happened...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Luan Santana Vanessa Hudgens Joanna Garcia Swisher Jamie Bell Kevin Bacon Minnie Riperton Jason Clarke Mélanie Laurent Austin Butler Lia Marie Johnson Dominic Cooper Sean Kingston Garcelle Beauvais Dannii Minogue Madonna Portia de Rossi Melissa Rauch Ron Howard Jamie Campbell Bower
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.