A talk with Thora Birch
Thora Birch
Thora Birch born March 11th, 1982 (Pisces)
In her secluded lab Thora Birch is daringly looking for a way to develop ducks with 4 legs (pixabay photo)

Do you remember which is the first award you ever won?
At the early age of 8, I won the "Copper Chipmunk Medallion" assigned by the municipality of Seattle for "impressive yet unrequested stage exhibition".

Did you ever participated in a séance?
You bet your boots! But just once. It was a very tormented experience. Suddenly, the spirit of Michelangelo appeared and conjectured that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of Dante Alighieri's plumber.

What do you think about the international situation?
Rubbish! It's hard to believe it when you live in dreams made of rainbows, but in these battered times there are nations where it is difficult to find even a passable martini.

What motivates you to act?
I hear a voice that motivates me. Her name is Brenda. Brenda says you are a loser.

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
Jennifer Connelly, because we were in the same scout troop (go Webworms!) when our partners were away.

Have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Actually, there have been some legal concerns regarding my last contract, the most rational solution is changing my name, so next year I will be known as "Thora Byrch".

When your are not on the set, which is your preferred hobby?
I think that making rubber band balls is a noble activity.

Who were you in your first school play?
It was rather embarassing. It was a play on the life of Mozart. I was at the ticket boot.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Thora Birch's home telephone number :
503646995 5647535807 608984882 9304503061 999748714 248658889 7266981467 4016178028 7650177408 6833679047 6284550813 7559534262 2501985181 8983793876 2652720840 4809980946 5834452027 3219718891 7465377216 798757325
I patiently lay in wait for many weeks for a chance to have a little rendezvous with Thora Birch. The resulting transcription was excellent, like "Life of Pi" rewritten by the Green Arrow. Hence, it was very regrettable that my ferret devoured my only copy! After I left the padded cell, I made an effort to recapture those imposing words. I want to be frank here: I'm not so sure this web page contains a totally accurate run-down of what transpired during our rendezvous, and I'm starting to ask myself if it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.