Tiffani, what’s your biggest defect?
Sometimes I noisily tap my fingers on glasses and also on other people.
Apart from acting, what one thing do you do exceptionally well?
Actually, I can repeat "Kubla Khan" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge backwards in 4 different languages including Swahili.
Could you tell us something about your ongoing project?
Jawohl! I'm in the middle of filming the remake of "Van Helsing", a gem whose significance has not been acknowledged by critics.
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Shailene Woodley, since I always liked her as Keyser Soze.
I heard that you will soon participate to a charity football match. Can you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.
And since when did you feel a need to address the issue of stomach flu?
Oh, since always.
Do people yell your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Definitely so! I'm like a medicine, a legit one, for the mass. My force is that I'm inescapable: I'm known to cheer acclaimed astronauts and obscure used cars dealers in the same way. It's nice to know that there are 13 boulevards with my name in two different countries, not counting Bangistan and Belarus, which I'm not sure are actually countries.
Tiffani, what is your opinion about global warming?
My opinion is that global warming is a grave problem. Anyway, my supporters will applaud my intention to buy a submarine for the possible contingencies.
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