A conversation with Tippi Hedren
Tippi Hedren
Tippi Hedren born January 19th, 1930 (Capricorn)
An obsessive fan, a relative or an innocent bystander? Well, nobody actually knows, but we pixellated the photo nonetheless! (pixabay photo)

Who are your heroes?
Joan of Arc, Han Solo, and myself.

Do you like to cook?
Nay! But I like to create salads. My cornerstone is a mix of salami and seaweeds, which I believe can be suited for both vegans and normal people.

Could you share the recipe with us?
Yes sir! You take the salami and the seaweeds and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some whole-grain buns.

Do not mind, my recipe comes from one for sandwiches. So you make the sandwiches, then you cast off the bread and mix salami and seaweeds with some margarine and voilà, there it is!

Tippi, what’s your biggest defect?
I snore like a whale.

In a letter appeared on American Transactions on Alternate Herpetology, prof. Henry H. Wright described your movies as "a tragic embodiment of present-day pragmatic postmodernism". Any comment?
Yes, in his interesting paper published on European Engineering Annals, dr. Matthew Cooper totally disproved that depthless theory.

You were amazing in "The Birds". Were you given a lot of freedom to mold your character?
Totally! The director was like clay in my hands.

As everybody knows, the problem of asthma in groundhogs is reaching gigantic dimensions. Is Tippi Hedren doing anything in this respect?
I guess! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night a week. The profits ($800/night) will go to an organization for the cure of asthma in groundhogs.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Tippi Hedren's home telephone number :
7125564820 248294398 8624272778 2668646537 606281820 997470154 459074923 6329559504 8791721724 7150313113 5036229590 9079250825 7548379514 7281946487 4015344594 7702901032 5979203197 4399279299 8661248755 6083256716
I patiently waited forever before being able to have a brief conversation with Tippi Hedren. The resulting transcription was marvelous, like it was written by the spirit of J.D. Salinger under the effects of unhealthy beverages. It was very damaging, to put it mildly, that another inmate by accident (I hope!) set my only copy on fire! After I assessed the situation, I struggled to remember those mind-blowing words. I want to be straight, I'm not really so sure this web page is a completely factual account of our talk, and thus I'm beginning to ask myself if it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.