Toby, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Toby's prodigy". In the middle of one of my researches in the Atacama desert, I discovered a shrub unknown to botanists, now named Isacisadea bella, which every 5 years blooms and gives fruits whose flavor reminds of lemons and guacamole. It may sound uninviting, but it may become a compulsive habit.
Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Yes! I dig people's mind. I'm global: I brighten renowned heirs and obscure second-rate strippers in the same fashion. It's nice to know that there are 14 plazas with my name in four different countries, not counting Uzbekistan and Shangri-La, which I'm not sure are actually countries.
Who were you in your first school play?
It was a play on the life of Isaac Asimov. I was the comic relief in the part of a baffled Maine congressman.
Is there something you would like to do right now?
Quite. Meditate on your mortality.
As everybody knows, the problem of tennis elbow in opossums is reaching huge proportions. Are you doing something to mitigate the problem?
Absolutely! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a month. The profits ($1,000 per night) will be granted to an organization for the cure of tennis elbow in opossums.
What’s the best sound in the world?
It is the placid sound of a bunch of new banknotes caressing each other. However, my agent requires you write instead something more mainstream, for example "the relaxing purr of a pleased kitten" or "the joyful giggle of an angelic kid ".
If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine an ocelot. A big, fat, serene ocelot, glutted and heavy-eyed in the summer shade.
Do you have any birthmark?
Actually, I do. I have a tiny lobster shaped birthmark on my right shin. Probably my mother did have a nightmare involving a lobster when she was expecting me.
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