An interview with Toby Keith
Toby Keith
Toby Keith born July 8th, 1961 (Cancer)
As a kid Toby Keith showed an inexplicable inclination to exotic food like fried frog legs and escargot (pixabay photo)

Can we play the "word association" game? I say a word and you answer with another word. I begin with :
Q: Sunday.

Toby : ghost

Q: whole
Toby : Phoenix

Q: sadness
Toby : vengeance

Toby, your zodiac sign is Cancer. May I read you your horoscope?

Will do! But I don't believe in zodiacal rubbish.

Unfortunately, you are in an irritating situation that blocks you from doing the things that you are inclined to do. You can take your fate into your hands again by cloistering yourself for 3 months in an obscure cavern in the most untamed spot of Ohio.
Piffle! You are dead on!

In a paper printed on Pacific Journal of Psychological Investigations, dr. Patrick O. Young has observed that your songs are "a dramatic recapitulation of modern pragmatic neoclassicism". Any comment?
In his last article appeared on Canadian Journal of Alternative Asceticism, prof. Justin G. Campbell utterly rebutted that implausible observation.

Do you do your own shopping?
I would love to, but I'm so occupied doing influential things to care about such trifles. Usually, I pay a crew of Yale PhDs to elaborate my grocery list and pass it along to a number of professional buyers spread around the globe. For the clothes, always a critical issue, I ever retain a group of surrogates, one for each body part.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Toby Keith's private telephone number :
5546005037 7020497805 8131661105 7722318416 3693272254 4200194400 4133669835 5912315409 3319056594 8796702089 4705304285 6921045022 5045913998 9342511824 2563475828 571953043 8235808375 2029132784 511781912 687365563
My chief had planned my little talk with Toby Keith several weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I decided at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like growing lichens or feeding my pet jackal. So, the transcript above is mainly the recollection of a dream that ensued after a generous dinner of chorizo and wild boar stew.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.