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An interview with Tom Felton
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Tom Felton
Tom Felton born September 22nd, 1987 (Virgo)
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In his will, Tom Felton has provided that his ashes should be scattered on the planet Saturn, possibly by hand. (source)

I'm here today with a special guest, Tom Felton, who just survived the mammoth task of his last movie. Hi, Tom, and welcome to Useless Factoids.
I say it was about time you people invited me. I saw Carrie Underwood the other day and, let me tell you, I did not like it a bit.

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I believe that preparing food is a huge waste of time, since there are fast food joints and bars more than willing to provide my daily dose of fats and carbs. In the few occasions I indulge in cooking for my buddies, I like to design salads. My treasure is a mix of pulled pork and soybeans, which I presume can be fine for both vegetarians and normal people.

Intriguing! Would you like to share the recipe?
By all means! You take the pulled pork and the soybeans and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some French rolls.

Sandwiches?
It does not matter, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made the sandwiches, you cast off the bread and mix pulled pork and soybeans with some teriyaki sauce and voilà, you are done!

Could you tell us the story of your next movie?
You bet! It is the story of Kevin, a jewellery designer from Fresno. He is abducted by a mysterious society and he is obliged to compose absurd "entirelY dUmmy Talks" for some web site, from an obscure underground computer lab. (If you can't locate me, tell Amanda I never loved her...)

What’s the best sound in the world?
Between you and me? It is the comforting whisper of a roll of new banknotes touching each other. However, my agent urges you to write instead something more mainstream, say, "the calming purr of a satisfied kitten" or "the infectious laugh of a happy kid ".

Can you share with us a memory of your role in "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"?
Definitely! They do not assemble a cast like that anymore! There are a lot of compelling motives for that...

Tom, which is your trick to achieve eternal youth?
Curiously, it is a weekly scrubbing with hot jello.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Tom Felton's private telephone number :
8041933857 8059278526 3128779483 8206018163 3086128690 572521175 4563761770 8402369581 4906729739 4412388321 3716284490 876894128 6007908533 5337528445 7736508485 6011218852 527609352 4638187631 2619818106 8402053548
Celebrities are busy people. It's difficult for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Tom Felton alone and obtain the interview above without his help. Hence, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained thanks to a computer we initialized with all the available info about Tom.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.