A conversation with Tom Hardy
Tom Hardy
Tom Hardy born September 15th, 1977 (Virgo)
His breakfast when he wants to stay light (pixabay photo)

Do you know any good diarrhea cure?
Sure, in case of diarrhea, mix three parts of sparkling wine, one part of coffee and some balsamic vinegar in the skull of a gopher, then apply this potion on your back and your legs.

Do you do your own shopping?
I'm too hard at work doing very significant things for the humankind to care about such trivias. Actually, I have a number of specialists to compile my grocery list and pass it along to a crew of pro buyers distributed around the planet. For the clothes, I ever hire a group of doubles, one for each body part.

If I may ask, do you have any particular fear?
Absolutely! I have acquired an irrational fear for cookies, after an uncanny accident happened to my uncle. I'm also scared by Ouija boards, but that is quite normal.

Can you tell me the square root of 5638382203?
Are you kidding? Even a confounded rabbit can answer that, provided it has gained a thumb and an abacus.

Do you Google yourself often?
Say every day or so. But lately Google often says "Including results for Tom Hirdy", who allegedly is a former metal polisher from San Francisco. That's quite depressing, but not as much heartbreaking as finding that according to Bing my name is similar to a shocking blasphemy in Polish.

Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To steel my spirit, I periodically doze on a cot made of rough sandpaper and nails.

What's your earliest memory?
Actually, I'm the testimonial for a new infant formula called "My Earliest Memory", so I cannot speak about the subject.

I would like to test it on unaware passerbies.
Well, it will be sold only in Djibouti and Freedonia.

There is no possibility any of these is Tom Hardy's secret telephone number :
9719681998 370331156 5358604278 2607203125 4654272844 4992143561 5716243106 7680011018 8836364797 376010718 5155157671 8311160339 4631651205 3803781240 6680176548 4826964222 3307734203 8106305184 339505233 9437825845
Clearly, celebrities are very frantic people. It's difficult for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Tom Hardy totally alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing him. Thus, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained from a computer simulation of Tom.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.