A conversation with Tom Selleck
Tom Selleck
Tom Selleck born January 29th, 1945 (Aquarius)
Tom Selleck's experimental launch of a new cologne redolent of fish entrails extract has been an inescapable misstep (pixabay photo)

Tom, what is your opinion about the controversial problem of global warming?
I have the proofs that this alleged global warming drivel is presumably a hideous plot of Genovia's undercover agents.

Do you have any scar?
Yes, I do. I have a tiny paperclip shaped scar on my right leg, a relic of my problematic quarrel with a raving opossum.

What motivates you to act?
Lack of air, because acting is like breathing for me.

How is your relationship with movie directors?
I don't have issues with them, provided that they worship me like common people.

Tom, do you like horses?

For which reason you do not like horses?
Actually, they reek! And one horse bite my uncle in his intimate parts. This is one of the motives I decided to become an actor, so I should rethink my opinion about horses.

Do you do your own shopping?
I'm too occupied doing paramount things for the humankind and I can't waste time on such technicalities. Actually, I employ a crew of economists to compile my grocery list and e-mail it to a group of professional buyers spread around the planet. For the garnments, I ever hire a number of stand-in, each sharing with me one body part measure.

Could you improvise a poem for us.
I guess so! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away your passion,
you took the emotions away from me.
A photo, a comb lost in a drawer
the only sings of you.
You took away my life,
everything you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Tom Selleck's home telephone number :
7443266265 4226931080 6237180048 9446737125 8165341487 4983455696 6761646983 3428928372 2095249879 4649078070 2090050706 3136543458 6090908857 6686568464 7899937600 8660168552 220134853 2817492691 5452952478 8829688077
I queued up forever for the privilege to have a hurried rendezvous with Tom Selleck. The resulting interview was stunning, like "Of Mice and Men" rewritten by Catwoman. Thus, it was very damaging, to put it mildly, that my dog (probably on purpose!) destroyed my only copy! After I left the padded cell, I tried to summon up those mind-boggling words. So, to be aboveboard here: I'm not so certain this web page is an entirely genuine report of our rendezvous, and thus I'm starting to wonder if it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.