A talk with Tom Waits
Tom Waits
Tom Waits born December 7th, 1949 (Sagittarius)
Albert M. Adams, the new Tom Waits' head of security, is always testing different ways to drive off stalkers and aggravating fans (source)

Do you have a favorite flag?
I always liked San Sombrèro flag, probably because it has my picture in the middle.

If there was another movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Chris Pratt, since we were in the same chess club when we were younger.

If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Surely Sigmund Freud.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
A court order forbids me to talk about it.

When you were a little boy, did you see singing as your career?
Definitely! Even though it was my second choice. First one was president of the USA. Or maybe critters exterminator, it was a hard choice.

Do you do your own shopping?
I would like to, but I'm too time-poor while performing important things for the planet to waste time on things of little importance. Actually, I retain a group of Yale graduates to compile my grocery list and pass it along to a gang of professional buyers spread around the globe. For the clothes, always a critical issue, I ever employ a group of surrogates, each sharing with me the measure of one body part.

Which is your forthcoming musical adventure?
Next week I'll release an experimental album of hip-hop covers of John Lennon greatest hits, sung in Albanian, Mongolian and Esperanto. It is very confidential and jet of planetary fascination.

What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to figure it when you live in houses made of rainbows cuddled by venerating fans, but there are countries where it is impossible to find even an almost adequate frankfurter.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Tom Waits' secret telephone number is listed here :
5549693267 2324032205 814049345 4432328111 6931262915 622666161 7976505540 9747870090 4448854121 4490972488 448388007 439311631 3174523053 2244617169 5856503610 510002250 8962677152 8566406700 4632852197 2386152446
Let's face it, vips are over-booked people. It's difficult for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Tom Waits peacefully alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing him. Therefore, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained thanks to a computer simulation of Tom.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.