When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional singer?
Yes, even though it was my second choice. First one was king of the World. Or maybe pharmacist, I could never decide.
Should you give up singing, which kind of occupation would you choose?
Probably that of professional sand castle builder. I already have some experience in that field.
Tom, if I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you made?
I'm not supposed to tell anybody, but I invested quite a bunch of money in a super-clever scheme invented by a financial guru named Charlie Panzi, a mastermind of offshore investments (whatever it means). I will give you his phone, but he has been incommunicado in the last weeks.
Which is your forthcoming musical experiment?
Next month I'll release a vinyl-only cryptic recording of trip hop covers of Frank Sinatra greatest hits, sung in Bosnian, Chinese and Japanese. I believe it will be the masterpiece of my career.
A famous person you think to as a part of your life?
Probably Gollum, because of our awesomeness.
Tom, what’s your biggest defect?
Well, sometimes if I chomp tobacco and suddenly I need to free my mouth I'm not that finicky about where I deposit the residues: it may be a washbasin but also an urn.
Have you made resolutions for the New Year?
My plan is to obtain a license for operating my hovercraft.
Could you suggest a remedy for flu?
Sure, in case of flu, mix three parts of champagne, two parts of lemonade and some dill. Guzzle the resulting concoction every 20 minutes for 4 hours.
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