An interview with Tom Welling
Tom Welling
Tom Welling born April 26th, 1977 (Taurus)
Tom Welling's preferred diversion is collecting dummies (pixabay photo)

Could you improvise a poem for us.
I'll do! Here it is

The rabbit of agony
The eerie rabbit of agony
succumbs on the dismal pastures of desolation
while I stare at the hallucination of life.
If only it had been the pork of agony
I could have bacon at least.

Do you use an alias when you book a limo? You know, to protect your privacy and to ditch paparazzi and devotees
Absolutely! I'll go to extremes to duck those critters. We mostly adopt the alias "Tom Willing".

You have been seen in an embarassing situation with a star whose name or gender I've not the authorization to publish. Have you something to add?
Do you mean B.H.? It's a totally irreproachable thing. I deny any other "situation", expecially one with B.Z...

I may have a photograph.
You know, I think the photo is just an impression...

An impression? I do not understand.
Well, just an impression. Like when you got the impression everything is totally cool and then without a reason your dog and your house catch fire. Do you understand now?

Let's forget about that hypothetical photo...
What do you think about the international situation?

The dickens! I think it is currently quite harsh, since there are nations where it is difficult to find even an adequate cosmopolitan.

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
Franky, common brands are for common people. My toilet paper is obtained from the leaves of Microcyphitea dentata, an elusive orchid which grows only in the Amazon rainforest.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Tom Welling's home telephone number :
4695720886 432647034 5877505781 4915269543 2336669347 391451439 3173033365 3593894926 3006302340 4797967471 9341365287 6255646048 4401940214 5867316312 4931644008 6720713933 429786239 8220330839 6373480514 6700511342
I queued up forever for a chance to have a brief talk with Tom Welling. The resulting piece was wondrous, like "A Christmas Carol" rewritten by Hellboy. It was highly damaging that my ferret (probably on purpose!) ate my only copy! After I recounted my vitals, I attempted to recollect those great words. I want to be honest here: I'm not really so confident this web page is a completely precise report of our interview, and now I'm starting to ask myself if it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.