Tommy, do you have something to say to young people?
Totally! Modern research has made clear that smoking self-growed tobacco may have troublesome long-term effects, like loss of limbs or sudden death. But dread no more! Buy "Tommy's miracle", now with Dasycladia blattaria syrup. Just $29.99 for 120 capsules. (Note : Not actually a drug. It
often may cause amebiasis or induce suicide. Cholesterol-free. One capsule supplies 100% RDA of rust).
If I may say so, Tommy, you are also well known for your particular requests when staying in hotels. Can you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
Everybody should learn that Tommy needs what Tommy needs, and he generally gets it. Whether it's silver-plated underwear or pure platinum.
Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
But of course! People love me so much. I make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I'm known to gladden wealthy heirs and obscure sewer inspectors alike. You know? There are 13 boulevards with my name in three different countries, not counting Santa Prisca and Lithuania.
Tommy, do you have any vice?
Laziness. I have troubles to be out of bed in the morning. Perhaps you are going to judge me for that. Luckily another vice of mine is not giving a damn.
Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
I don't know, I guess they were all very good in that play.
What would Tommy Lee Jones do to solve the problem of violence and criminality that is menacing modern world?
I think we can get inspiration from great movies, like "Brazil" and "Robocop".
What have you got in your pocket?
Balderdash! Since this interview is a daydream of your mischievous mind, I'm probably in my immodest underwear, so no pockets at all.
Tommy, are you superstitious?
I'll do! I slap 2 times my chin right before a significant event. Clearly not today.
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