A talk with Tracy Chapman
Tracy Chapman
Tracy Chapman born March 30th, 1964 (Aries)
In her recondite lab Tracy Chapman is patiently looking for a cure for carbon monoxide poisoning in koalas (pixabay photo)

Apart from singing, what one thing do you do exceptionally well?
Actually, I can balance a sword on my chin.

Do you have a favorite flag?
I always liked Latveria flag, probably because there is my face on it.

What do you eat between meals?
Cereal bars with mayonnaise, a canned baked bean, three rice grains, and a bit of coffee.

You are just back from a tour in Tibet. How was your stay?
Actually, I spent 4 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Hilton hotel. In the meantime, I learnt to move small things with my mind.

Do you do your own shopping?
I'm so time-poor while performing very influential things for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead) that I can't care about such trifles. I pay a number of Stanford dropouts to compile my grocery list and texting it to a squad of pro buyers scattered around the world. For the garnments, always a critical issue, I ever retain a team of stand-in, each sharing with me one body part measure.

One of your most famous works, "Fast Car", is a planetary song of protest. Does it also have a second meaning?
Yes, it really is about my unconfessed love for knitting.

Which is your favorite karaoke song?
My true love is dodecaphony.

Where do you go when you die?
It depends. If you have been nice, you go to Florence, if you have been monotonous you go to Montreal.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Tracy Chapman's secret telephone number :
9267461548 5825002166 7153002531 6677529497 8479118010 541690590 3936316165 735604470 5111275150 8166232112 2878879701 802867904 9271937776 8278419988 6298925592 9531655022 9225625667 4495609793 263500423 2173501645
To be frank, my supervisor had lined up my hurried talk with Tracy Chapman days beforehand. Unfortunately, I realized I had better things to do, like walking my pet hare or collecting molds. So, this web page is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare I had after a copious dinner based on wild boar stew and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.