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A conversation with Tricia Helfer
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Tricia Helfer
Tricia Helfer born April 11th, 1974 (Aries)
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During her last scripture, Tricia Helfer has got a nasty addiction to yak milk (source)

Tricia, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Tricia's surprise". During one of my famed peregrinations in the Atacama desert, I discovered an unremarkable unknown tree, now named Petalospa gnoma, which every 5 years blooms and gives fruits whose taste reminds of pears and tartar sauce. You have to be rich enough even to unlike it...

Your zodiac sign is Aries. May I read you your horoscope?
OK, but I'm a bit partial regarding zodiacal drivel.

Today a frightening lack of power and a dispiriting limitations are ruining your search for a peaceful soul, but with respect to next Sunday today is a feast, so good luck.
Oh boy! That's impressive!

If there was another movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
Stephanie Moseley. We were in the same scout troop (go Webworms!) when we were in high scool.

You have been the recipient of many prizes. Can you tell us which is the first prize you ever won?
I won the "Golden Sheep Cup" issued by the municipality of Boston for "memorable yet redundant stage achievement" at the early age of 9.

Does your assistant use an alias when he books, say, a limo? You know, to protect your privacy and to ditch stalkers and groupies
That's for certain! I'll go to extremes to elude those cannibals. I often use the moniker "Tricia Hilfer".

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actress Tricia Helfer, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at New York University, signed up for Philosophical Conceptualism 101, failed, and bailed out after a year with an online massively multiplayer videogames addiction.

Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Shoot me! Sometimes my popularity frightens me. My power is that I'm inescapable: I'm known to gladden famous neurosurgeons and unhappy housewives to the same extent. It's nice to know that there are at least 15 boulevards with my name in three different countries, not counting Grenyarnia and Benin.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Tricia Helfer's private telephone number :
8006454050 802272183 3818546748 3405049319 732341383 5227926881 251364869 3795700166 8066409302 646776131 6248954954 967005664 9285516841 458207408 4864457178 699746664 6018418380 4231679923 4515746325 676987495
I patiently scheduled a brief meeting with Tricia Helfer several weeks in advance. The resulting transcription was wondrous, like "The Count of Monte Cristo" rewritten by Mandrake. Thus, it was regrettable that my ferret destroyed my only copy! After I showed vital signs again, I attempted to extract from my fading memory those mind-blowing words. To be honest, I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page is an absolutely accurate account of what transpired during our appointment, and I'm beginning to be uncertain it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.