A conversation with Tyler Perry
Tyler Perry
Tyler Perry born September 13th, 1969 (Virgo)
Probably you don't know that during his driving exam, Tyler Perry inadvertently ran over a wandering giraffe, with little consequences for the animal (pixabay photo)

Tyler, which is your secret for eternal youth?
It is a soaking into hot unicorn blood once a day.

I heard that you will soon be busy with a charity football match. Care to tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a humble effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And how long have you been feeling a need to address the issue of albinism?
Oh, since always.

What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to figure it when you live between cushions, but there are countries where it is difficult to find even a so-so corn dog with or without mustard.

If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Without doubt Francis Bacon.

I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my imminent book will soon be published in the book itself. What I can divulge here is that it will be my unauthorized autobiography, a long due work soon to be released in montly instalments.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actor Tyler Perry, what do you think you would have done?
I would have gone to a film production company and sang John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt until they gave me a job.

Tyler, do you have something to say to young people?
Totally! Scientific studies have proved that drinking like a mad panther may have obnoxious consequences, like loss of appetite or death. But fret no more! Buy "Tyler's cure", now with Carpocoma obtusa powder. Just $19.99 for 90 capsules, only in the best Mexican minimarkets (Note : Not actually a drug. It often may cause tennis elbow or induce paranoia. Sodium-free. A capsule supplies 100% RDA of glue).

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Tyler Perry's home telephone number :
618946077 4135244913 9296059878 9049164555 5887148389 5108929185 234156686 6847026251 6056636988 804947121 6838176354 6095086259 2626647608 492814726 2449262328 4919101851 457301823 6044628315 8165613254 3794640489
I patiently planned a brief appointment with Tyler Perry for months. The resulting article was great, like "The Dukan Diet" rewritten by Hellboy. Thus, it was awfully untoward, to put it mildly, that my doctor by accident (I hope!) shredded my only copy! After I put the blame on karma, I made an attempt to extract from my failing memory those awe-inspiring words. So, to be honest, I'm not really confident this web page contains a totally accurate account of our exchange, and thus I'm beginning to ask myself if it actually was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.