Nowaday the problem of rheumatism in bears is attaining monumental dimensions. Is Usher doing anything in this respect?
I think so! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a month. The profits ($1,100 per night) will go to a charity for the cure of rheumatism in bears.
Which is your next musical experiment?
Next week I'll release a vinyl-only experimental recording of gothic metal covers of Michael Jackson greatest hits, sung in Turkish, Finnish and Hindi. I have no doubts it will be the zenith of my artistic life.
Can you authenticate the noise about your participation in the rogue crisis of Chupacabra photos?
Rubbish! Somebody may think you are showing an illogical desire to bite the big one, if you know what I mean. And, you know, I have a friend who has a friend that for $3000,... Nevermind. You don't like spoilers, don't ya?
You are always fit. Which is your secret?
I have invented the Blue Diet: in the month of May I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, blue potatoes, robin's eggs and my special Smurf hash.
Do you have a favorite flag?
Surely the flag of Florin. If I'm not mistaken, it is white and red with a tiny red zebra somewhere.
When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional singer?
Sadly no, and I still hope that, one day, they are going to recognize the need for Klingon interpreters at the United Nations.
Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to paparazzi, zebras, and sodium carbonate.
Which is your method for everlasting youth?
As you may have suspected, it is a monthly soaking into hot cement.
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