An interview with Usher
Usher born October 14th, 1978 (Libra)
Less known fact: until he was 16 Usher believed Santa Claus was of Klingon ethnicity (source)

Nowaday the problem of rheumatism in bears is attaining monumental dimensions. Is Usher doing anything in this respect?
I think so! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a month. The profits ($1,100 per night) will go to a charity for the cure of rheumatism in bears.

Which is your next musical experiment?
Next week I'll release a vinyl-only experimental recording of gothic metal covers of Michael Jackson greatest hits, sung in Turkish, Finnish and Hindi. I have no doubts it will be the zenith of my artistic life.

Can you authenticate the noise about your participation in the rogue crisis of Chupacabra photos?
Rubbish! Somebody may think you are showing an illogical desire to bite the big one, if you know what I mean. And, you know, I have a friend who has a friend that for $3000,... Nevermind. You don't like spoilers, don't ya?

You are always fit. Which is your secret?
I have invented the Blue Diet: in the month of May I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, blue potatoes, robin's eggs and my special Smurf hash.

Do you have a favorite flag?
Surely the flag of Florin. If I'm not mistaken, it is white and red with a tiny red zebra somewhere.

When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional singer?
Sadly no, and I still hope that, one day, they are going to recognize the need for Klingon interpreters at the United Nations.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to paparazzi, zebras, and sodium carbonate.

Which is your method for everlasting youth?
As you may have suspected, it is a monthly soaking into hot cement.

There is no possibility any of these is Usher's private telephone number :
9409921795 8143939700 6836474983 559434728 6306271559 7248029369 3552994151 287156202 5586131741 5948378434 3624029354 973360486 8433335224 584344818 8347117952 6130454530 4521138775 747114384 949138957 9254284691
I scheduled a brief exchange with Usher many weeks in advance. The resulting article was mind-boggling, like "Where the Wild Things Are" rewritten by Magneto. So, it was very unfortunate, to put it mildly, that my koala by accident set my only copy on fire! After I accepted reality, I attempted to recapture those jaw-dropping words. So, to be aboveboard here: I'm not really confident this web page is an entirely truly account of our appointment, and I'm beginning to question whether it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.