Usher, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Yes! Recent studies have made clear that sniffing solvents like a cat with a cold may have uncool long-term aftereffects, like loss of vowels or painful death. But quaver no more! Buy "Usher's prodigy", now with more Hymenococca sarcophylla tincture. Just $29.99 for 120 pills. (Note : Not actually a cure. It
often may cause loss of sleep or induce paranoia. Sugar-free. It may contain traces of shrimps and ashes).
Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Absolutely! I dig people's mind. I'm universal: I captivate renowned moguls and demoralized crime scene cleaners in the same manner. You know? There are at least 14 parks with my name in two different countries, not counting Syldavia and Tonga, which I did not know they were countries.
Have you ever participated in a séance?
Yep! It was a very unsettling experience. Suddenly, the spirit of Nicolaus Copernicus appeared and revealed that I'm the reincarnation of a Francis Bacon's uncle.
How would you describe your songs to somebody who'd never heard it before?
Well, I've heard there are one or two such guys in the Mojave desert or in Texas. As is used to say, my music is like a sugary vanilla cupcake with a surprising heart made of glitter.
Usher, do you like dogs?
Why you do not like dogs, if I may ask?
To be honest, they stink! And one dog bite my grandpa in his intimate parts. This is one of the motives I decided to become a singer, so I should probably rethink my opinion about dogs.
You seem to be always so vivacios and sprightly. Do you also have a dark side?
It's hard to confess it, but I do. Each one has a dark side. Sometimes, when I see a colleague, irritation darkens my heart and I clench my teeth. And suddenly, I feel a compulsion to kill his heckling smug look. That is my sunny side... I let you imagine how dark my dark side is.
Which super power do you have?
I can shrink other people heads, particularly if it's cloudy. This was quite annoying in my line of work.
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