Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yes, here it is my guaranteed cure. In case of need mix one part of white wine, two parts of tea and some guacamole. Apply the resulting brew on your feet and your arms.
Do you do your own shopping?
You crazy! I pay a group of shopping gurus to compile my grocery list and pass it along to a team of professional buyers scattered around the world. For the garbs, which are always critical, I ever employ a crew of surrogates, one for each body part.
Who were you in your first school play?
It was rather embarassing. It was a play on the life of Pablo Picasso. I was at the ticket boot.
Val, what do you think of global warming?
I've already explained my thoughts in a paper that will soon appear on Annals of Psychological Inquiry, written in collaboration with prof. Kenneth Gonzalez.
Val, where will you go on your next vacation?
For next summer I rented an elegant mansion on the secretive mountains of Freedonia. The only issue was making a payment in Linden dollars to the genial gentleman from Russia that proposed me the affair in the interweb.
What do you think about the international situation?
The hell with it! I think it is quite harsh, since on our battered world there are regions where it is difficult to find even a just passable corn dog with or without mustard.
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Charlie Hunnam. We share a taste for Indiana Jones.
I read that you will soon participate to a charity football match. Can you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such an embarrassing effort?
I was obliged by my parakeet, who wouldn't stop repeating how it would have been such a good idea.
And how long have you been feeling a need to inform people about gastroenteritis?
Since I feared to have contracted it.
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