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An interview with Van Morrison
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Van Morrison
Van Morrison born August 31st, 1945 (Virgo)
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Because of a harmless curious accident with his airship, Van Morrison has lived for 3 months in the Kinabalu rainforest. He was alone, apart from his cat Masita and his strong personality (source)

What is your opinion about the problem of global warming?
I have reasons to believe that this alleged global warming phenomenon is just an egregious invention of Palombia's moles.

Do you use an alias when you book, say, a limo? You know, to protect your privacy and to deceive stalkers and supporters
Absolutely! I'll do anything to steer clear of those cannibals. We usually use the pseudonym "Van Marrison".

If there was another movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It should be Josh Hutcherson. We were in the same soccer team when we were in high scool.

As everybody knows, the problem of myopia in horses is attaining monumental dimensions. Is Van Morrison doing anything in this respect?
Okey-doke! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night every two weeks. The profits ($1,400 per night) will be granted to an organization for the cure of myopia in horses.

Can you deny the gossip about the loss of the Yeti pictures?
Mankind can't handle the truth!

Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To make my will tougher, I frequently take a nap on a mattress made of shards of glass.

Are you allergic to anything?
I have a little intolerance to bad manners, chipmunks, and xylene.

Which is your favorite snack?
Chicken breasts with relish, a chicken leg, three parmesan cheese slices, and a few drops of ground coffee.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Van Morrison's private telephone number :
7259906235 6239996320 8318778870 5720341952 8045939598 7747875963 901303065 6826264947 7326988291 506179643 9118324777 616588231 2649283812 4093351240 2855538886 7988636912 797969286 7387327039 5034567421 8869222065
My chief had patiently lined up my short rendezvous with Van Morrison weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I decided I had better things to do, like feeding my pet hedgehog or growing poison ivy. So, the transcript above is essentially based on what Van Morrison would have probably said if I have met him, as suggested by a statistics involving a couple of random people.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Amber Heard Phoebe Cates Ginnifer Goodwin Jennifer Morrison Ashley Rickards Shane West Linda Cardellini Duffy Zoe Saldana Ludacris Jamie Lee Curtis Kate Hudson Kate Beckinsale Chris Pratt Eva Green Reese Witherspoon Bailee Madison Peter Facinelli Gloria Gaynor
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.