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A talk with Vera Lynn
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Vera Lynn
Vera Lynn born March 20th, 1917 (Pisces)
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To make her will tougher, Vera Lynn often rests on a bunk made of rough sandpaper and thorns profusely dusted with vinegar (pixabay photo)

What do you think about the international situation?
Nonsense! It's hard to figure it when you spend your days among piles of dough pampered by capable servants, but there are regions where it is difficult to find even a tolerable corn dog.

If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Louis XVI of France.

Could you suggest a remedy for diarrhea?
Here it is my sure cure for diarrhea. Mix one part of white wine, three parts of energy drink and some tomato sauce. Guzzle this mixture every 20 minutes for 5 hours.

Did you ever participated in a séance?
Yep! It was an extremely tormented experience. At a certain point, the spirit of Harry S. Truman manifested and determined that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of a Charlemagne's aunt.

What would you like to do right now?
Talk to a guru about my future.

Your agent told me you are just back from a series of concerts in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I lived 2 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I got the idea it was not the Sheraton hotel. The silver lining? I learnt to bilocate, for a couple of seconds.

Who are your heroes?
Daniel (the underestimated cousin of Alan Turing), Yoda, and myself.

If there was another movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Emmanuelle Chriqui, since I liked her as Bilbo Baggins.

There is no possibility any of these is Vera Lynn's secret telephone number :
380790695 6334192660 3920966081 6349383104 3490772699 683055872 2268386669 2020267399 7537864178 5492636428 700195159 9511454675 5468480802 4529918033 964028363 4522288240 4308977086 5250269553 9410151858 858832950
Clearly, singers are very busy people. It's difficult for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Vera Lynn completely alone and to obtain the interview above without her help. Thus, this web page is an an extrasensorial transcription we obtained employing a certified telepath from Phoenix.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.