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An interview with Vera Lynn
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Vera Lynn
Vera Lynn born March 20th, 1917 (Pisces)
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In her manor in France, quite near the Richard Armitage's one, Vera Lynn is producing her own red wine, whose name, by an unluckly accident, sounds just like a terrible vulgarity in Yiddish (pixabay photo)

Who are your heroes?
Martin Luther, Spiderman, and myself.

Do you know Laura Garcia (a former archaeologist, now a gunsmith) from Midland?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been engaged to her for 3 months. Then there was some commotion about some licentious photographs sent by phone to the wrong people, so their engagement came to a hasty ending.

Apart from singing, is there something in which you excel?
Well, I can move both my ears in synchrony while I pat my back.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to weasels, hydrochloric acid and helicopters.

Your zodiac sign is Pisces. Are you a typical Pisces?
That's right! I'm very cordial, active, flexible and restless. My friends say that I'm also a bit paradoxical but that I think it is usual in artists.

Vera, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
You bet! Modern studies have made clear that getting drunk like a Pennsylvania congressman may have sour long-term consequences, like loss of taste or death. But dread no more! Buy "Vera's marvel", now with Armastana sarcophylla syrup. Just $19.99 for 80 tablets, only in the best Russian groceries (Note : Not actually a drug. It often may cause myopia or induce paranoia. Cholesterol-free. A tablet supplies 100% RDA of bacteria).

Vera, what is your opinion about global warming?
I have reasons to believe that this global warming rigmarole is presumably an abominable machination of Hyrule's undercover agents.

Could you improvise a song for us.
Absolutely! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the emotions,
you took your love away from me.
A pen, a comb lost in a drawer
the gloomy reminder of you.
You took away all that I had,
all and everything you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Vera Lynn's home telephone number :
2229851201 5937335851 6082118963 9171289112 7288280518 2362035285 2789961831 5066533460 2672537489 7280148946 7780506359 860048813 9631486451 6923712882 931077818 9226824622 9884343763 5465542405 7450244775 631897200
My hurried talk with Vera Lynn has been patiently lined up many months in advance. The resulting article was great, like it was written by Isaac Asimov under the effects of unhealthy beverages. It was awfully unfavorable that my uncle Andrew by accident (I assume) shredded my only copy! After I put the blame on karma, I tried to recollect those magnificent words. So, to be frank, I'm not so certain this web page is a perfectly truly report of what transpired during our exchange, and I'm starting to wonder if it ever was real...
Other interviews worth checking:
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.