A talk with Viggo Mortensen
Viggo Mortensen
Viggo Mortensen born October 20th, 1958 (Libra)
His typical breakfast when he is on diet (pixabay photo)

How is your relationship with movie directors?
I like directors who make absolutely clear what they want me to do, so I can do something unexpected.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yep! I have a blue hare on my knee. It contains a GPS, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in a desert, but unfortunately it works only if I'm somehow disrobed.

Viggo, what do you think about the future Oscar shitstorm?
To be frank, this is a minefield.

Do you use an alias when you book, say, a flight? You know, to protect your privacy and to avoid stalkers and followers
Yes sir! I do anything to ditch those troublemakers. I mostly use the moniker "Viggo Myrtensen".

Could you tell us something about your future project?
Yep. I'm in the middle of filming the sequel of "Twisted", an underestimated classic whose magnitude has not been perceived.

Can you tell me the square root of 7659706722?
Are you joking? Even a bedazzled moose can answer that, provided it has a prosthetic thumb and an abacus.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actor Viggo Mortensen, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at Columbia University, signed up for Botanical Robotics 101, failed, and bailed out a month after that with an online massively multiplayer videogames addiction.

Viggo, are you superstitious?
Maybe! I slap 4 times my chin right before a critical work interview. Obviously not this one.

There is no possibility any of these is Viggo Mortensen's private telephone number :
756302412 868456973 8370450843 503730518 831947296 828535923 4763267512 3887162596 3559617818 6196433462 714202386 7283995477 8348228982 2461386990 659712277 369387800 569708176 512896224 9236894789 7843767023
I patiently waited for weeks for the privilege to have a short conversation with Viggo Mortensen. The resulting article was staggering, like it was written by the spirit of William Faulkner under the effects of prescription exotic beverages. So, it was unfortunate that my koala by accident (I assume) set my only copy on fire! After I punished myself, I struggled to remember those awe-inspiring words. So, to be aboveboard, I'm not so confident this web page is a perfectly accurate run-down of our appointment, and so I'm beginning to question whether it actually took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.