A talk with Vince Vaughn
Vince Vaughn
Vince Vaughn born March 28th, 1970 (Aries)
A well known clinic in West Virginia is currently using Vince Vaughn's fans as subjects in an experiment on nightmares prevention (source)

Who were you in your first school play?
It was a play on the life of Dante Alighieri. I played Captain America until somebody got smart.

What is the most uncanny nightmare you remember?
I dreamed being blamed by a Kurt Vonnegut impersonator, while I kept repeating "I did not eat my aunt's gnu".

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Quite. Take a shower to forget the stench of born loser you emanate.

I read that you will soon be busy with a charity eating marathon. Would you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And since when did you feel an urge to fight albinism?
Oh, since always.

Do you know Carol Hall (a former sugar cane grower, now a probation officer) from Philadelphia?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been engaged to her for 3 weeks. Then there was some commotion about some licentious selfies sent by phone to the wrong people, so their engagement came to a quick end.

Did you ever participated in a séance?
For certain! But just once. It was an extremely unsettling experience. Suddenly, the ghost of Queen Victoria manifested and determined that I'm probably the reincarnation of a neighbor of Kurt Vonnegut.

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the ocelot appearing in your last movie?
Fair enough! How did you people find out!? It wasn't my fault, and whatever buzz you heard about it has been overemphasized by the media.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Vince Vaughn's home telephone number :
234044289 6767481636 2419342306 7900765333 3566916706 414636678 441871875 675173130 6190757787 560561337 7883666890 4819489218 5133567630 2030705781 2493826330 4731380127 6270598994 3748673860 2267998856 9596950308
I patiently sat tight forever for a chance to have a short exchange with Vince Vaughn. The resulting article was awe-inspiring, like it was written by the spirit of William Faulkner under the effects of prescription stimulants. Thus, it was awfully damaging, to put it mildly, that my neighbor shredded my only copy! After I recovered from a mild intoxication, I made an effort to remember those awesome words. To be frank, I'm not so certain this web page contains a totally factual report of what transpired during our conversation, and thus I'm starting to question whether it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.