A talk with Vincent D'Onofrio
Vincent D'Onofrio
Vincent D'Onofrio born June 30th, 1959 (Cancer)
Few people know that Vincent D'Onofrio has registered a patent for an inflatable tie. (source)

Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Exactamundo! I dig people's mind. I really make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I'm known to cheer outstanding MIT professors and disconsolate accountants to the same extent. It's nice to hear that there are 12 avenues with my name in three different countries, not counting Uzbekistan and Qumar, which I did not know they were countries.

Don't you think it is time you write an autobiography?
Yes! It is untoward that I have little time, if any, to put down the words. Last winter I've read the back cover of "Siddhartha", and I found it quite acceptable. Thus, I've ordered my agent to call the author - a certain Hermann Hesse - since I really need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not heard any answer.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
A court order restrains me from talking about it.

If I may ask, do you have any peculiar phobia?
Sure thing! I have acquired an unreasonable fear for Smurfs, owing to a strange accident happened to my cousin. I'm also terrified by roller coasters, but that is quite common.

Where will you go on your next holiday?
For next summer I leased a chic manor in a hidden valley of Brobdingnag. The only issue was making a transfer in Linden dollars to the kindly gentleman from Nigeria that proposed me the affair by email.

What do you think about the current Oscar controversy?
To be sincere, this is a hot potato.

Are you allergic to anything?
Absolutely! I'm allergic to ethylene, poverty and hare milk (don't ask!).

Vincent, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Vincent's gem". In the middle of one of my famed studies in the Hymalayas, I uncovered an inconspicuous shrub unknown to botanists, now named Diecera agrifolia, which every 5 years blooms and gives fruits whose taste reminds of apples and chives. You have to be rich enough even to find it strange...

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Vincent D'Onofrio's secret telephone number :
9121400024 2720000527 3830006876 8603557199 4369154722 4957289250 6073600747 617079149 8371513362 6868364011 4164005417 3431623017 314471264 2415085560 8371296250 6197727149 2630200988 6165149152 6588412993 9994869856
I queued up for many weeks for the privilege to have a brief appointment with Vincent D'Onofrio. The resulting interview was great, like "Eat, Pray, Love" rewritten by Silver Surfer. It was regrettable that my mother in law (on purpose!) devoured my only copy! After I came out from stupor, I struggled to summon up those wonderful words. I want to be clear here: I'm not one hundred percent confident this web page is an absolutely precise chronicle of our appointment, and thus I'm beginning to ask myself if it actually was real...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Johnny Depp Katy B Amy Smart Evan Rachel Wood Robert De Niro Shirley Henderson Emmett J. Scanlan James Cromwell Macklemore Chayanne Cheryl Madeline Zima Lucy Hale Candice Patton Mena Suvari Mark Ruffalo Ashley Benson Lynn Collins Ben E. King
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.